


Only Temporary

by aryan_coconut, Blackbutlersecrets



Category: Kuroshitsuji
Genre: Abusive Relationships, For just about everything, M/M, Not Ciel and Sebs, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, This story is twisted, We meant it when we said twisted, We weren't kidding, dont worry, like seriously, trigger warning, yes there will be smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-08
Updated: 2017-04-16
Packaged: 2018-09-15 15:41:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 9
Words: 27,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9242339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aryan_coconut/pseuds/aryan_coconut, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blackbutlersecrets/pseuds/Blackbutlersecrets
Summary: Ciel Phantomhive goes on vacation, courtesy of his new job. While at the resort, he meets Sebastian Michaelis, a man with many secrets. How will Ciel's own dark past intertwine with the secrets of this stranger? Especially when both of their darkest nightmares come to life?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading this! This is our first published story, so feedback would be greatly appreciated. Tell us what you think! This story is based off an rp that we are writing. Chapters will not be updated on a regular schedule, and will be updated as written.

Dear Mr. Ciel Phantomhive  
I am proud to report that you have been appointed the as the new CEO / head manager of the New York base of Funtom Chocolate Factory. As a congratulatory gift, we have offered a full paid trip to Kula, Maui. Your position as CEO/ Head manager begins on January 10, 2017. Congratulations on your promotion.  
Regards  
Funtom Chocolate Factory  
Manhattan, NY  
\--  
Ciel read the email over and over as he sat at the outdoor bar, the tropical breeze rustling his raven locks. He smiled and tilted his head back. CEO. Head manager. 'Fuck yeah, I'm CEO. I worked hard for that!' Ciel thought to himself. He had just turned 26, young for such a high position, but he had his connections as well as his 'stellar work ethic' Ciel drummed his long fingers on the table. "I'll have a gin and tonic please" he said. He had been offered two tickets for the trip but he obviously declined. Who else could he take? He hasn't been with anyone in years and work had sucked out every last drop of vitality he had left, and he hadn't bothered pursuing anyone. He sighed despondently, twirling a piece of his long hair between his fingers. 

 

Sebastian was sulking by the outdoor pool. His long legs were stretched out on a reclining chair as he thought of the events that had led him here. He sighed audibly and leaned his head back, closing his crimson eyes. It was truly a shame that he was here alone, but sometimes that was just how things played out. Suddenly his eyes snapped open and he stood up in a relaxed manner, heading towards the outside bar. He could really use a drink, maybe it would get the depressing subject off his mind. The bar was rather full, and there was only one available bar stool. Sebastian took the seat, only sparing a glance at his neighbors. The woman to his left was thin and busty. Attractive, but not his type. The man (Sebastian assumed, but he wasn't 100% sure) on his right was petit with long hair. Cute, but he barely looked legal. Sebastian turned his attention to the bartender. "I'll have a whiskey, please. Double." He said in a low voice, drumming his fingers on the bar in a bored fashion. He was indisputably bored, and he felt the need for entertainment. So he turned to the fella on his right, because the busty woman was occupied with two other men at the moment. "Hey. Are you even old enough to be drinking?" Sebastian asked rather rudely, but in a friendly tone, as he accepted his drink from the bartender, sipping it slowly.

 

Ciel whipped around at the voice next to him and widened his eyes. 'Shit he's hot', he thought to himself. He cleared his throat before answering "Yes. Yes I am actually." He said, sticking his chin up "I'm 26". The breeze rustled his hair again and he quickly tucked the stands that tickled his jawline behind his ears. "Well? Have you got a name then?" He asked with a little smile.

 

Sebastian raised one black eyebrow as he reappraised the male in front of him. "26? Really? I never would have guessed." He said, stirring his drink as he pretended to not have a lot of interest in the male before him. This tactic usually worked for Sebastian. "Me? Why of course. My name is Sebastian. Sebastian Michaelis, at your service. And do you have a name?" Sebastian was admiring the way the boys hair waved in the wind, and how his delicate hands looked as they tucked hair behind his ear. No denying the male was attractive, and he looked like a good distraction.

 

"Ciel" he said, pausing to take a long sip of his drink "Phantomhive." He set the glass back down on the table and folded his hands "So where are you from, Sebastian Michaelis? Clearly you aren't a native." He narrowed his eyes at Sebastian's disinterested behavior but he kept the conversation going. This was the most beautiful man he had seen in a while, he was not going to let this opportunity slip away.

 

The name sounded familiar to Sebastian, but he couldn't quite place it. He crossed his legs and turned so that he was facing Ciel, no longer feigning disinterest. Sebastian rather liked the sound of his name on Ciel's lips, it sounded lovely. "Where I'm from? Oh, nowhere in particular. I move around a lot, I haven't settled anywhere in a long time. You're right, I'm not a native." Sebastian intentionally avoided telling Ciel where he would be living next. There was no reason for a stranger to know where he was living. "And where are you from, Ciel Phantomhive?" He asked, honestly curious now.

 

Ciel ran his fingers through his unkempt hair. "Oh no where in particular.." he said trailing off with a teasing smile. "I'll be moving to NY soon though. Job offer." The alcohol was starting to kick in and his chest felt warm and bubbly. Not drunk, just.... cosy. It was already incredibly hot though and he found himself unbuttoning the top two bottoms of his shirt. "Jesus it's hot" he mumbled.

 

Sebastian widened his eyes in surprise. "New York?" He murmured. He would be moving to New York after this vacation. "I like New York." He whispered, lifting his glass to his lips again. He decided to tease Ciel. "Goodness. Is it really so hot that you have to take your clothes off at the bar?" He asked, not minding at all. Ciel really was attractive, and Sebastian was enjoying the view. "Surely you have more class than that." He teased, setting his empty glass down.

 

Ciel laughed "It's two buttons, relax. If you want my clothes off so badly, just ask" he said, blushing at his own bold words. He tied his hair up quickly in a bun, as the heat was making it unbearable to keep it down. Ciel brightened suddenly as a familiar song started to play. "Man I love this song, I'd listen to it every day until I got sick of it, but it always found its way back in my playlist." He chuckled "Hey there Delilah, what's it like in New York City....." he mumbled, only half singing before taking another sip. "Damn it's too stuffy, I'm leaving. The beach isn't too far from here" He put some money on the table "Care to join?" Ciel asked tentatively.

 

Sebastian watched Ciel, mesmerized at the change that seemed to overtake the younger male. He grinned and put his own money down on the counter. "Yeah, I'll tag along. As long as you promise to keep your clothes on." He said with a chuckle before looking at Ciel with sultry eyes. "For now." He laughed again and gestured for Ciel to lead the way. "Are we taking a car, or is the beach close enough to walk to?" He asked, admiring Ciel's blush. 'So cute.' He thought, staring at him.

 

"I make no promises," Ciel winked, unbuttoning one more button, ears turning hot as Sebastian looked at him. "And yeah, it's a 10 minute walk, tops." They walked to the beach making idle banter as the sun started to set, the sky blooming with color. They reached the beach and Ciel kicked his shoes off to swish his feet in the water as they walked. "The water is so warm and clear, at the beaches I've been to, the water was always freezing and you couldn't see 3 inches in, it was so gross. But this..." he looked up at the sunset. "This is nice".

 

Sebastian was suddenly overcome with desire to hold Ciel's hand. A strange desire, one that was new to him. Sebastian wasn't exactly renowned for his sweetness. Sebastian stuffed his hands into the pockets of his shorts, keeping them secure. He watched the water swirl around his bare feet, and a strange rush went through him. Suddenly he turned to face Ciel and removed his hands from his pockets, grasping Ciel's face and capturing his lips in a kiss, Sebastian's eyes closed gently. He pulled away a moment later, not saying a word.

 

"A-ah ha- um-" Ciel stuttered, not even fully registering what happened. Soft lips had pressed against his, strong hands on his face... Ciel raised his hand to his mouth, tracing his lips with the tips of his fingers as his mind was in a fog. They continued walking without another word before Ciel broke the silence. "Hey... Sebastian, do you wanna go for a swim?" He asked, a grin spreading across his face as he unbuttoned his shirt further. "It'll be fun, c'mon." Ciel had never moved this fast, nor had he ever been this reckless but hey, he was on vacation. He would probably never see Sebastian again. Why not have some fun?

 

Sebastian was about to apologize to Ciel when he noticed him bring his fingers up to his mouth. Sebastian smiled and realized the poor thing was probably just speechless. At the suggestion of going for a swim, he smiled as well. "A swim? Yeah, sure. If you think you can handle the cool water, that is." He grabbed the hem of his shirt, pulling, it up and over his head, revealing an impressively toned chest. Sebastian threw his shirt onto the shore and waded deeper into the water, letting his shorts get wet.

 

Ciel looked away and swallowed as he saw Sebastian's perfect figure, suddenly feeling very self conscious about himself. He couldn't back out now. He slipped his shirt off his narrow shoulders and waded into the water with his arms crossed over his stomach and chest until he was next to Sebastian. Ciel was nearly completely red now, the chill of the water not bothering him in the slightest as the heat from his own flustered state warmed his whole body.

 

Sebastian looked over at Ciel, and his lips parted at the sight. Ciel was gorgeous. There wasn't a single pound of fat on that body, yet he wasn't a skeleton. His hips were soft and slender, and Sebastian wanted to grab them. He licked his lips, which had suddenly gone really dry, and moved closer to Ciel. He gently pried his arms off of his chest and noticed how red the boy was. "Are you cold? I told you that you couldn't handle it." Sebastian chided softly with a smirk, holding onto Ciel's wrists and dragging him deeper into the ocean slowly.

 

Ciel looked down, embarrassed, as Sebastian looked at him after his arms were pulled off his body. "No I'm not cold... quite the opposite actually" he said quietly, as Sebastian pulled him deeper in the water until he was almost at his shoulders. Yet the water still only reached just under Sebastian's chest. "H-hey I'm not as tall as you, hold on!" He giggled, placing his palms on Sebastian's bare chest to stop him. He looked up at Sebastian and bit his lip. 'Shit I want to kiss him again', he thought to himself. He inched closer to him so their chests almost touched. He ran his hands slowly up Sebastian's chest and looped them around his neck hesitantly, looking out carefully for a negative reaction.

 

Sebastian leaned down and placed his lips against Ciel's, but not kissing them. "You're perfect." He murmured, taking a guess as to the cause of Ciel's hesitation and apparent embarrassment. "Beautiful." He did exactly as he wanted to earlier and brought his hands down to rest on that gorgeous waist, sliding his tongue over Ciel's bottom lip tentatively, yet boldly.

 

Ciel closed his eyes and exhaled slowly, letting out his tension as Sebastian's strong hands rested on his waist, his long fingers grazing his spine. Ciel pulled Sebastian down and caught his lips between his own, kissing him sweetly. He dropped his jaw slightly to press his tongue against Sebastian's, heart thumping as his soft tongue met the other's. His hands went up into the taller male's long hair and gripped softly at the silky strands, his soft moan covered by the crash of waves hitting the shore.

 

Sebastian was soon caught up in the sweet kiss, sliding his arms around Ciel's waist, enveloping him and bringing him closer. He tilted their bodies ever so slightly so that Ciel was dipped, and Sebastian was supporting him. It was easily the most passionate kiss Sebastian had ever participated in, and he'd only meet this male about an hour ago. Of course, they were both a little drunk, but who really cared? All Sebastian cared about was the way Ciel's tongue was moving against his, and he moved one hand up to the small of his back, supporting him firmly.

 

Ciel pulled at his hair as the kiss became deeper, their tongues exploring each others mouths. "Sebastian.." He breathed out as he broke away, lips flushed a dark pink from the passionate kiss. His entire body was buzzing at being touched for the first time in a while, and each of Sebastian's gentle touches felt like a thousand. He looked up at him with heavy lidded, lustful eyes. "You wanna head to my room?" He said with a seductive and slightly drunken smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, we know this is a horrible place to stop. Chapter two will be up very soon, don't worry!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Probably excessive smut, but can you really blame us?

Ciel's lustful gaze set Sebastian ablaze, and he was pulling the pair out of the water faster than the blink of an eye. "God yes." He said in a rough voice, picking up the discarded clothing on the shore. Sebastian was more than eager to see Ciel's hotel room. For various reasons. "Come on." He purred out. "Where are you staying?"

 

"Ritz-Carlton, let's go. Taxis aren't far" he grabbed Sebastian's hand and pulled him towards the roadside at the back-end of the beach as they hastily pulled on their clothes, much to their distaste. They flagged one down and clambered inside. “The Ritz-Carlton. Get us there in 5 minutes and I'll give you 20 extra.” Ciel said firmly, pulling on Sebastian's shirt to connect their lips in another kiss.

 

Sebastian was too intoxicated with Ciel to notice what a fancy hotel they were going to. As soon as Ciel kissed him in the taxi, he immediately took control, dominating the shorter male passionately. He put his hands on Ciel's hips again, squeezing them lightly as he suckled on Ciel's tongue. "HEY! That's fucking disgusting! Stop sucking face in my cab, we'll be there in 3 minutes! Jesus Christ." The disgruntled cabbie muttered, stepping on the gas a little more. Sebastian chuckled and pulled away from Ciel respectfully.

 

Ciel huffed and pouted, crossing his arms over his chest. He bit his lip and bounced his leg furiously to keep himself from touching Sebastian. Each second felt like an hour and it was driving him absolutely insane "50. I'll give you 50 bucks extra if you can get us there in one minute." He growled. "Jeez kid, you're going to get us killed.” The taxi driver mumbled, slamming his foot on the accelerator. They reached the hotel quickly and Ciel pulled Sebastian out of the taxi with him, not once breaking eye contact. He carelessly threw a small wad of twenties at the driver and held onto Sebastian's hand and dragged him into the hotel lobby, and then the elevator.

 

Sebastian raised an eyebrow again. "How much money do you have, really? Am I worth that much to you?" He said with a chuckle, following Ciel into the lobby, having eyes only for Ciel's ass. Once they were in the elevator, Sebastian waited impatiently for Ciel's floor to arrive. The second they were in the privacy of Ciel's room, Sebastian grabbed Ciel and lifted him up so that his legs were straddling Sebastian's waist. Sebastian pushed him against the wall gently, but firmly, kissing him with all he's got.

 

Ciel ignored Sebastian's question and nearly pounced on him once they were in the bedroom, his thighs gripped by Sebastian's powerful hands as they wrapped around his waist. Ciel reciprocated the passion of the kiss and gripped the back of his neck to pull him closer. Ciel's jaw dropped so he could push his tongue deeper, Sebastian's mouth was warm, soft and incredibly sexy. "Nnnng fuck take this off" he moaned, pawing at the annoying clothes that separated their skin from touching.

 

Sebastian stumbled over to the bed, dropping Ciel onto it. He leaned down and started unceremoniously stripping Ciel's shorts off, leaving him in just his boxers. Sebastian quickly removed his own pants, and climbed back onto Ciel, kissing his neck. While Sebastian was nibbling on Ciel's neck, he reached down and started tracing patterns on Ciel's inner thighs teasingly. "So hot." He mumbled against his neck, swirling his fingers in small, fluttering circles.

 

Ciel found himself self conscious again as his clothes were ripped off him. He closed his legs slightly. "Sebastian wai-oooohhhh..." Every ounce of uncertainty he had melted away as teeth grazed against his neck, and gentle fingers twirled patterns on his thighs. Ciel splayed his legs open wider, the action nearly begging Sebastian to touch him. He reached up to run his palms up and down Sebastian's smooth back, digging his nails into his hips and pulling them closer, moaning at the contact.

 

Ciel's nails in his back drove Sebastian near insane with lust, and he was done with teasing in that very moment. He ripped Ciel's boxers off and grasped his hard member with one hand, pumping it at a liberal pace. He readjusted his position so that he was on his knees with his other hand free. Sebastian kept stroking with his left hand as he brought two fingers of his right hand up to Ciel's mouth. He leaned down to lick the shell of Ciel's ear. "You'd better make these nice and wet, baby." He moaned into Ciel's ear.

 

Ciel gasped as his member was grabbed suddenly and his back arched as Sebastian's strong hand pumped him. Ciel bit his lip as Sebastian whispered in his ear and wasted no time in sucking the fingers into his mouth and licking them thoroughly. He held Sebastian's hand firmly and his tongue traveled down from the knuckles to the fingertips, before taking them completely into his mouth, sucking on them messily with a drop of saliva hanging off his bottom lip. His eyes closed while he moaned around Sebastian’s fingers.

 

Sebastian's eyes grew lidded as Ciel sucked his fingers erotically. "Fucking-" he cursed as he felt his own cock twitch at the sight of the attractive male under him. He swallowed and grudgingly removed his fingers from Ciel's mouth, trailing them down his throat and abdomen slowly, spreading a light trail of cooling saliva. Sebastian brought his fingers down in between Ciel's thighs, resting them against his entrance. He slowly slid one finger into the quivering heat, marveling at the feeling and beginning to thrust the finger in and out slowly.

 

Ciel leaned his head back on the pillow with his eyes closed and lips parted as Sebastian trailed his fingers down his body. He gasped as a finger slid into him, the pain soon turning into pleasure as Sebastian's slender finger worked him perfectly. "Mmm.. fuck.” He gasped as long fingers hit his sensitive spot. "I-it's been a while, so please..." Ciel whispered quietly, embarrassed.

 

Sebastian froze and looked up immediately. "Please what?" He asked, staring intensely at Ciel. He was afraid that he'd hurt Ciel.

 

Ciel's heart thumped at his concern and he smiled down at him. "Just be careful baby," he blushed. "Keep going.." he begged, grinding his hips into Sebastian's fingers. His hand traveled up his chest and he played with his nipple, catching his lip between his teeth as he pinched.

 

Sebastian's eyes narrowed as he saw Ciel's hand move up. He grabbed the offending wrist and pinned it to the side, leaning down to whisper in Ciel's ear again. His fingers still haven’t started moving yet. "That's my job." He growled, moving down to Ciel's chest and capturing a pink nipple between his teeth, rolling his lightly. He started thrusting his fingers again, at a more careful pace. He soon slipped a second finger in and gave the nipple a small nip. "Careful, love. If you keep grinding into me like that, this isn't going to last much longer." Sebastian breathed out, thrusting his fingers a little faster.

 

Ciel gasped and squeezed his eyes shut as Sebastian slid in a second finger, and he grabbed onto the back of Sebastian's head as his nipple was bit. Ciel soon adjusted again and was a moaning mess within a few moments. "Sebastian..." he breathed, "Pleaseeee.. ooh pleaseee.” He begged. Ciel soon found his other hand traveling down his body and gripping his own member, stroking it lightly as Sebastian continued thrusting.

 

Sebastian smirked and kissed Ciel's chest one more time before looking up at the writhing boy underneath him. "Please what, Ciel? Tell me, tell me what you want from me. What do you want me to do to this beautiful body of yours?" He crooned, slowly slipping a third finger into Ciel. Sebastian distracted him from the pain by placing his hand over the hand on Ciel's member, and moving both of their hands up and down together at a faster pace. "Tell me."

 

Ciel screamed in pure pleasure, spine arching clear off the bed at Sebastian’s words, the fingers inside him, the hand around his member. "F-fu ahh!!" Ciel struggled to get the words out, mind completely fogged with lust. "F-fuck mee" he whined, rocking his hips back. "Please! I need you.” he groaned. He reached up and pulled Sebastian down for a messy kiss, tongues rolling in every direction, jaws dropped, and hungry mouths slurping for more.

 

The kiss was ultimately what threw Sebastian over the ledge. He outright moaned into the kiss, so incredibly turned on. "As you wish, my love." He bit out, panting lightly. Just the sight of Ciel screaming in pleasure beneath him was enough to make Sebastian hard and dripping. He pulled his fingers out, but decided to tease Ciel just a little longer. He crawled down so that his face was in between Ciel's thighs, and he pressed a chaste kiss to the entrance. He gave it one harsh lick and thrust his tongue in once before pulling back completely. Sebastian pulled off his own boxers at last and leaned over Ciel again, his member rubbing against the stretched hole. "God, you'll be the death of me." He groaned out, thrusting forward in one fluid movement.

 

Ciel found himself smiling idiotically when he was called "my love," but his smiling lips were soon between his teeth as Sebastian teased him a little longer "g-god," he breathed out as he was filled slowly by Sebastian's member, His eyes watering a little bit at the pain. "Keep going," he whispered, fingernails digging into Sebastian's back roughly.

 

Sebastian didn't listen to Ciel, and he didn't move, waiting for his little lover to adjust. He growled at the fingernails in his back, and buried his head in Ciel's neck, biting gently in retaliation. He waited a few long, agonizing moments before taking the initiative to move again. He was very careful and slow, hating the tears in Ciel's eyes. He thrust forward gently, still giving Ciel room to adjust.

 

Ciel let out a loud moan as Sebastian thrust deeper, right into his prostate. "Sebastian!!" He screamed, scraping his nails down Sebastian's back. Ciel whined impatiently. "Move! Move pleaseeee!” He ground his hips up, groaning quietly.

 

Sebastian licked his lips as all of his restraint flew out the window. "Fuck, Ciel." He moaned as Ciel ground against him, and he gave a harsh thrust in return. Sebastian gave into Ciel's pleas as he started a rough rhythm.

 

Ciel ignored the pain for a few moments and waited for the pleasure to set in as Sebastian thrusted into him roughly. His eyes were screwed shut as his mouth fell open, breathing heavily and letting out quiet moans, eventually increasing in volume until he was practically screaming. Ciel's hands traveled down to grab onto Sebastian's toned ass, gripping it tightly as it rocked back and forth as he thrusted into Ciel.

 

Sebastian grit his teeth as he thrusted faster. "Jesus-" he panted out. "Thats right baby, scream for me." He purred, pulling out quickly and flipping Ciel around so that he was on his hands and knees. He plunged himself back in quickly and resumed his pace, moaning at how tight Ciel was in the new position. Sebastian experimentally slapped his ass, not particularly hard, but not particularly soft either. He watched carefully for a reaction as he continued his thrusting, sweat dripping off his brow.

 

Ciel gasped at the sharp sting of the slap, contrasting perfectly with the sweet pleasure of being fucked so perfectly. Ciel went down on his elbows and stuck his ass up higher for him "Sebastian..!!" he moaned loudly. Sebastian was deeper this way, hitting his sweet spot with every thrust.

 

Sebastian groaned when Ciel went down on his elbows. He gave another slap to the male's ass before leaning over so that his chest was flush against Ciel's back. He started licking a trail up his spine, blowing on his saliva after it cooled. Sebastian left one hickey on Ciel's spine, a dark purple one.

 

Ciel threw his head up and let out a throaty groan as his ass was slapped again. His head dropped and he moaned breathily as his Sebastian's velvet mouth ran up his spine, suckling and licking. Ciel's mouth hung open as the saliva cooled, his entire body tingling at the sensation. "Mmmmm I-m close" he said, reaching between legs to stroke himself "Touch me.. touch me please" he crooned, massaging the tip lightly with his thumb.

 

Sebastian was close as well, so he thrusted faster. "Asking so nicely -hah-, what a good boy you are." He whispered into Ciel's ear before retracting back to his earlier upright position. He snaked a hand around Ciel's waist and knocked his hand off his own erection. "Mine." He mumbled, starting stroking Ciel himself. He delivered another slap to his backside, watching the skin redden as he thrusted in out. Sebastian wasn't going to last much longer.

 

"nnnG FUCK," Ciel shouted as his ass stung from another slap. Ciel moaned silently at everything, the tingling of his ass, the strong hand around his member, and the perfect erection pounding into him so well. He felt the warmth building up in his stomach "Se-sebas-Sebastian ah-" he stuttered as he released with a loud moan, throwing his head back.

 

All it took was feeling Ciel clenching his walls around him for Sebastian to release. He laid his head on the younger male's back, moaning out his name as he came. After he was finished, he pulled out carefully and stood up, walk into to the bathroom to get a towel. He wet the towel and walked back to Ciel, using the towel to clean the smaller male up.

 

Ciel crumbled as soon as Sebastian pulled away, his freshly fucked body shaking with pleasure and exhaustion. He felt Sebastian leave and his heart fell. He would just leave like that? "Sebastian?" He called out quietly. He saw him return with a towel and he blushed furiously as he started to clean him gently. Ciel sat up gingerly and smiled shyly at Sebastian "I'm fine honestly. Don't just leave without saying anything! I thought you just left me, jeez.” He pouted.

 

Sebastian looked up at Ciel and smiled. "I'll stay with you until morning. Then I'm leaving to go home." He said quietly, spreading Ciel's legs carefully to clean in between them. "Are you okay? How do you feel?" Sebastian asked, wiping the wash cloth in soft, gentle motions, washing the evidence of their pleasure away.

 

Ciel felt a pang in his chest as the realization of their temporary lovemaking set in. "Right....I'm alright," he said flatly, reaching between his legs to pull the towel away. They still had till morning didn't they? He tossed the towel carelessly to the ground and climbed on top of Sebastian's lap so he was straddling him. Ciel licked and suckled up his neck, leaving little red splotches. "Morning isn't here yet.." he whispered against his neck. His eyelids started to feel heavy as he pushed Sebastian down and kissed his chest. "Hmmmm..." he rested his head on Sebastian's chest and listened to his steady but quick heartbeat.

 

Sebastian clutched Ciel close to him, and he closed his eyes when he felt lips on his neck. "You'd better be careful, Ciel. If you keep it up, you won't be able to walk in the morning." He threatened, leaning his head back on the pillows.

 

"Oh hush..." Ciel whispered, getting off his chest to kiss his neck again. He smelled warm and comforting, like nutmeg and sweat. His lips moved lazily against the smooth skin and worked across to Sebastian's mouth. He kissed him slowly, savoring every moment. Ciel started to feel sleepy but he refused to fall asleep, especially since their time together was so short.

 

Sebastian wanted to lay there forever, kissing Ciel. Unfortunately he was sweaty and sticky, so he suggested a better idea. "How about we go take a shower? That way I can clean up too." He offered, lazily running a hand up and down Ciel's back.

 

"Hmmm, I'd like that very much." He said, reluctant to get off of Sebastian's warm chest. He did eventually and pulled him off the bed, leading him to the shower. The Ritz-Carlton being a 5 star hotel, obviously had an immaculate bathroom with a huge and luxurious shower. They stepped inside and turned on the hot water, Ciel letting it flow across his sore muscles. Ciel looped his arms around Sebastian's neck and rested his head on his chest blissfully.

 

Now that Sebastian was less occupied, he finally paid more attention to his surroundings. He let out a low whistle when they stepped into the bathroom. "Goddamn, Ciel. Where are we again?" He questioned, standing in the shower spray. Sebastian grabbed a bar of soap and starting cleaning his small lover with it.

 

"Ritz-Carlton, I’m on a promotional vacation.” Ciel said, closing his eyes as the silky bar of soap slid across his skin, soothing the hickeys on his spine. After a moment Ciel pulled away from Sebastian's strong chest. "Let me see," he said, holding his hand out for the soap. Ciel ran the bar of soap across Sebastian’s shoulders and down his chest and abdomen, marveling at how toned he was. He set the soap aside and massaged his chest with his hands, running them up and down his torso in circular motions. "Damn.." he whispered as his fingers trailed down firm abs. He touched his own stomach and frowned slightly at its lack of definition.

 

Sebastian nearly choked when he heard the hotel name. "The Ritz? Are you even joking? Wow, you must be really successful." He muttered, letting Ciel wash him. Sebastian frowned when he noticed Ciel frown at his own stomach. He lifted his chin with one strong hand. "Hey. Don't do that. You're gorgeous, easily the hottest man I've ever slept with. What's the problem here?" He asked with brows furrowed.

 

Ciel flushed at the compliment "It’s nothing.." He muttered. He reached up and brushed his thumb across Sebastian's defined cheekbones, then tangled his fingers in his hair. "Not too bad yourself," he teased, connecting their lips in another kiss. Ciel’s heart nearly jumped out of his chest every time they kissed. He pulled away and turned his back to him to wash his face and hair. "I wish morning would have to come.” He chuckled sadly.

 

Sebastian bit his lip but agreed with Ciel. "Yeah, that would be nice." He murmured before changing the subject. "So are you hungry? We could find something to eat. Or we could just watch a movie and go to bed or something, if you're tired." Sebastian stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist, having no clean clothes to change into.

 

"I'm not all that hungry, we can watch a movie. But I don't promise I won't fall asleep," Ciel said while drying off his hair. "I think there is a robe in the closet you can use because I don't think my clothes will fit you, unfortunately." They walked out of the steamy bathroom and Ciel dried off and put on a t-shirt and sweatpants. He leaned back against the wall and shamelessly checked out Sebastian, who was still in nothing but a towel. ‘I could look at him all damn day’, he thought to himself.

 

Sebastian put his unfortunately damp boxers back on and slid onto the bed, wincing at the feeling of wet clothes. He grabbed the tv remote and patted the spot next to him on the bed. "Come lay down." He cooed, flipping on the movie channel.

 

Ciel jumped happily into bed next to Sebastian and rested his head on Sebastian's arm, the height difference just a little too much for him to properly rest his head on his shoulder. He flipped through channels and Ciel jumped up "Oooo, wait wait I like this movie." It was Castaway, a movie that never failed to turn Ciel into a sobbing mess.

 

Sebastian comfortably reclined on the bed, adjusting Ciel in his arms so that they were both comfortable. He had never stayed with anyone after sex before, so he was a little uncertain in his movements. But holding Ciel felt nice. It felt good, the boy was so warm and soft in his arms. Sebastian turned his focus to the movie. He'd never seen this one before, so he payed attention to the film.

 

Ciel was already tearing up halfway through the movie as he knew what was coming. "Wilson no..." he whispered, tears streaming down his face "I fucking hate this movie." He muttered, ducking his head down to wipe away tears. He buried his face into Sebastian and sighed sadly as the credits rolled in. "This movie.. Jesus Christ.”

 

Sebastian's eyes were wide when the movie ended. Partly because of the movie itself, and partly because of Ciel. He chuckled and rubbed his back. "I'm pretty sure you were the one that suggested we watch this movie." He reminded Ciel, tracing patterns onto his back with his nails.

 

Ciel couldn't help but smile at Sebastian stroking his back and he jumped up so he was straddling him and grabbed his shoulders. "How are you not crying??? You can't NOT cry while watching castaway!" He exclaimed then nuzzled his face in his neck. "Did you like the movie though?" He mumbled.

 

Sebastian snorted and flipped them over so Ciel was on his back. "I have a heart of steel. There are very few things that can make me cry, such as puppies dying in movies." He said honestly, omitting a few choice things that could make him cry, kissing Ciel's chin tenderly.

 

Ciel laughed as his back was pushed into the bed and he smiled at the tender kiss on his chin. "Aw man, we should've watched Marley and Me then. You'd have to be a one hell of a demon to be able to watch it without crying like a baby.” He looped his arms around Sebastian's neck and pulled him down for a kiss. "Mmmm... I'm tired now. Time for bed?" He asked with a yawn.

 

Sebastian grinned. "Actually, I didn't cry. I watched it with my friend one time when I was younger. I didn't shed even a single tear." Sebastian bragged, before he was pulled down for a kiss. "If my lord is ready for bed, then we can sleep now." Sebastian joked, rolling onto his back so that he was next to Ciel, and he closed his eyes.

 

Ciel feigned being horrified "Whaaaaat? No way!!" He laughed at Sebastian's comment and turned on his side so his arm rested on Sebastian's chest and his head lay on his shoulders. "Goodnight Sebastian.” He whispered before closing his eyes to a blissful sleep. As the night wore on, Ciel found himself getting closer and closer to Sebastian until he was basically intertwined with him, his face nuzzled in Sebastian's neck and his arm wrapped around Sebastian's waist. He breathed in the scent of nutmeg as he slept, the aroma warding off any possible nightmares. "Mmmmm, Sebastian." He mumbled in his sleep as he pressed himself against the taller male.

 

Sebastian was in the midst of fighting off a large panic attack. It was fine when it seemed like Ciel just wanted to cuddle, but now the male seemed to be trying to melt into Sebastian. Sebastian swallowed harshly and closed his eyes. 'I don't do this. I don't do attachments. I don't do love. Not anymore. Not after him.' He thought to himself, and he felt his chest pang at the thought. That was the last straw for Sebastian, and he was out of the bed faster than you could blink. He was careful not to wake Ciel up as he threw his dried shorts back on and grabbed his own hotel key card. He left the room without a second thought, without so much as sparing a glance for the male he'd spent the evening with. It was about one in the morning, and Sebastian walked back to his hotel in the dark, trying very hard not to think. He would be going home later this morning, and soon after that, he would start his new job. There. That was something to look forward to. A fresh start, where he could be whoever he wanted. Sebastian was excited at the prospect as he returned to his hotel room, crashing on the bed and falling asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

Ciel woke up groggily and noticed how cold the bed was, devoid of Sebastian's warmth. "Sebastian..?" He called quietly. "Sebastian?" He called louder, sweeping his messy hair out of his face to see. He sat up and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and looked around the hotel room. Sebastian was gone. He didn't even bother to stay till morning! Ciel chided himself for assuming he would do that, but after last night he thought they had something. He fell back on the bed and glared at the ceiling with his arms crossed. "Fucking asshole," he muttered angrily, wiping hot tears from his eyes, feeling unexplainably hurt and betrayed. He was gone without a trace, the only remnant of his presence being the lingering scent of nutmeg in the air.

 

** ** ** 

 

Sebastian scratched the back of his neck as he nervously fidgeted in his new suit. He was standing in front of his new office building on his first day. The impressive Funtom company. Sebastian was surprised that he'd gotten a job here, but he certainly wasn't complaining. He stepped inside and made his way to the front desk, smiling charmingly at the receptionist. "Hello, darling. Do you think you could point me in the direction of the orientation? I'm afraid I'm new, and I don't know where to go." The flustered woman nodded and explained where he should go, watching Sebastian leave as he headed in the right direction. Sebastian sat down in a conference room with about 15 other people, assumably all new as well. He drummed his fingers on the arm of his chair, waiting for the meeting to start.

 

Ciel stood outside the conference room, shaking out his hands and jumping up and down a few times to calm his nerves. "Alright, you can do this. Calm. Cool. Collected. You are the new CEO. Head fucking manager. Let's go." He mumbled. His long hair was slicked back and he was wearing the most luxurious suit he had. He stopped jumping and straightened out his suit. He held his head up high and walked through the doors. "Hello everyone," he said smoothly. “My name is Ciel Phantomhive, and I have been appointed as new CEO as well as head manager of the New York base of the company Funtom," He smiled winningly at the people in the room, voice full of authority. "I might be in a new position, but I know what I'm doing, I've worked here for as long as I can remember and-" Ciel froze for a moment when he saw Sebastian. ‘Oh FUCKFUCKFUCK!!!’ His head screamed, but he cleared his throat and kept going. "And I'm happy to be working with you all." He sat down. "Let’s get this meeting started then!"

 

Sebastian didn't notice Ciel when he first walked in. However, he looked up with interest when he heard his name. Sebastian went pale when he remembered their night together. Oh god. This is not what he needed. He would have to resign. Immediately. As soon as possible. These were the thoughts going through his head as the meeting went on. He didn't pay attention at all, and as soon as the meeting was over, everyone else filed out. Sebastian hung around for a little bit, wanting to talk to Ciel. To quit his job. Already.

 

Ciel held the meeting without any distractions and didn't once look at Sebastian. He may be frail and insecure but he was the boss and would not let his authority waver. He noticed Sebastian lingering after the meeting was over and he stood up. "Sebastian, was it?" He said "It’s been a while.” Ciel walked towards him but kept a respectful distance. "Is there anything you need?"

 

Sebastian took a step back as Ciel advanced. "I don't think this is going to work out, sir." He said respectfully. "Where do I hand in my two weeks notice?" He asked smoothly, folding his hands behind his back.

 

Ciel cocked his head to the side. "Really? We don't accept just anyone into this company, you must be qualified. And I don't think you'd want to give up the pay," Ciel refused to let his emotions get in the way of his company, but he secretly still wanted Sebastian to work here.. "Sebastian, what happened is history. It doesn't matter. Don't let it get in the way of a job." Ciel nearly choked at the second sentence because it did matter, but he was going to be calm, cool, and collected. He looked at his watch, feigning irritation. “I have to go, but please reconsider. Funtom would be happy to have you." He slid out the door and relaxed the second he was out, slouching his shoulders and running his hand through his hair. "What the hell.."

 

Sebastian swallowed as Ciel left the room. He really /really/ didn't know what to do. Of course he wanted to work here, but Ciel...Mr. Phantomhive. Sebastian snickered as he thought of addressing the male who had writhed and moaned beneath him a few months ago as his superior. Speaking of, Sebastian was in a little bit of an aroused state at the moment. Ciel was still extremely attractive. He finally sighed and walked outside the room, walking to his desk and sitting down. He would stay after all, and prove he deserved to be here.

 

Ciel leaned back in his chair in his lavish office, twirling a pen between his fingers, eyebrows furrowed in irritation. He couldn't concentrate. His mind was plagued by Sebastian at any given moment and walking past him in the office every once in awhile didn't help. He would always walk away hot and bothered. That's it, he was going to do something about it. Ciel slammed the pen down on his desk and made his way to Sebastian's cubical, ignoring the eyes that followed him as he walked briskly. He came up behind Sebastian and tapped his shoulder "Sebastian, in my office please." He asked evenly, turning around and walking back without waiting to see if he was following. 

 

Sebastian breathed out after Ciel tapped his shoulder. He knew this was coming. He saw the looks Ciel gave him, and they frankly made him nervous. Sure it had felt good, but he never intended for this to be a recurring thing. But Sebastian was a man. And men don't back down easily. So Sebastian stood up and walked to where he knew Ciel's office to be. He walked in and shut the door behind him, respectfully not making eye contact. "You wanted to see me, Mr. Phantomhive?" He managed to say with a straight face (barely).

 

Ciel took a deep breath and sat at the edge of his desk. “I was wondering if maybe you would like to get coffee some time?" He asked shyly, his hard CEO exterior melting away. "We didn't leave off on the right foot all those months ago and I would like to get to know you."

 

Sebastian stared at him for a moment before shaking his head. "Sorry, I don't think so." He said firmly. "Not only does that violate the workplace agreement I signed, but I'm also just not interested. Now if that's all, may I go?" Sebastian knew he was being harsh, but he didn't have another choice. He didn't want to lead Ciel on when Sebastian knew how this would ultimately end.

 

Ciel's hard exterior was back up in a flash, although painfully so. He narrowed his eyes. “No, you may not go." He walked closer to Sebastian. “Not interested? Didn’t seem that way when you had your tongue in my ass, back in Maui." He was only a step away from Sebastian now, trying to look as intimidating as possible despite the vast height difference. "What's your problem? Also, why did you leave me that night like some sort of prostitute anyways?" He fired at Sebastian, uncaring of the vulgarity in his words. 

 

Sebastian licked his lips and knew what had to be done. It would hurt him to say it, but it was in Ciel's best interest. He couldn't have a stable relationship, and Ciel didn't deserve that. "Ciel, you were a one time thing. A one night stand. Nothing more, nothing less. Please stop deluding yourself into thinking you were anything other than a good fuck." The words physically hurt Sebastian as he said them, and he almost winced.

 

Ciel grabbed Sebastian's tie and yanked him down to eye level. “Really? How about another good fuck then?" He whispered lowly in his ear. He let go of him instantly and waved his hand dismissively. "Leave.” He said shortly.

 

Sebastian's eyebrow twitched when he was grabbed. "You're going to offer me sex in one breath and kick me out in the other? Hm, sounds awfully familiar. You're just a big fucking hypocrite, Ciel. Doing the exact same thing you just accused me of." He growled, angry without reason. "Like I'd want to fuck you anyways. It must be impossible to do with your nose so high in the air." He whirled around and stormed out of the office, slamming the door behind him. He stomped back to his cubicle and sat down with a huff. Sebastian growled at the fact that he had an erection from Ciel whispering in his ear, and this only pissed him off more.

 

"Shit.." Ciel whispered, sitting down at his desk, hot and angry. "He's too sexy," he crossed his legs tightly in attempt to satiate his own erection.

 

All of a sudden Sebastian stood up. Fuck it, he couldn't do this. He marched right back into Ciel's office, not even bothering to knock. He just threw the door open and shut it behind him. "You weren't just a fuck to me." He blurted out. "I liked holding your hand." He fell silent before he could do any more damage.

 

Ciel stood up suddenly when Sebastian barged in and widened his eyes at the confession with a small smirk. "You liked holding my hand?" He asked quietly, walking over to Sebastian and boldly intertwining their fingers. "Like that? Or was I just a good hand-hold to you too, then?" Ciel didn't rip away his hand this time, it felt too nice, too natural.

 

Sebastian grit his teeth and let out a tiny exhale. "I liked holding your hand." He repeated. "And I liked cupping your face. And stroking your hair. And finally, I liked kissing you." Sebastian performed every action as he spoke it, taking a small breath after kissing Ciel. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be so rude."

 

Ciel remained frozen as Sebastian caressed him. "What's gotten you all worked up then? Tell me," he murmured, completely intoxicated by the tall man in front of him.

 

"Shh. Let me finish." Sebastian said in a low voice. "I liked doing all of those things, but I can't date you." He whispered, still holding a hand to Ciel's cheek, not wanting to let go.

 

Ciel closed his eyes. “Why...?"He held his other hand against the hand on his cheek and turned his head to kiss Sebastian's palm. "Why not?"

 

Sebastian smiled sadly and leaned down to place a sweet kiss on Ciel's mouth. "Because I am incomplete." He breathed. "I can't give you all of me, and that's not fair to you."

 

Ciel pulled away slightly. “What does that mean? You can't give me all of you? Are you with someone else?" He pulled away completely as jealousy overcame him. ‘Stop it ciel, you aren't even dating. Why are you irrationally jealous?’ Ciel thought to himself. He was still fuming and he struggled not to let it show.

 

"Shh." Sebastian said again, in an attempt to soothe Ciel before things got out of hand. "Relax. I'm not with anyone else, and I'm not going to tell you my reasons why. That's a story for another time. Or never." He tacked on quietly as an afterthought. Thinking about it made him drop his hand from Ciel's face unceremoniously.

 

Ciel took a step back and straightened his tie. "Very well. You may go now." He said, stiffly turning his back to him. He found himself rejoicing a tiny bit when Sebastian said he was single. He cleared his throat. “Don’t forget your projects are due this Friday." He added flatly.

 

Sebastian snarled at the sudden change. "Yes, /sir/." He emphasized, giving a mocking salute to his boss before marching out of the office again. "Fucking knew it was a bad idea." He muttered to himself, thinking that maybe resigning wasn't such a bad idea after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We love reviews! Once again thank you for reading! You guys are amazing!


	4. Chapter 4

"Dickhead.” Ciel muttered, sitting angrily at his desk with a childish puff. ‘What happened to the cute and nice Sebastian in Maui?’ Ciel thought angrily. The phone rang, interrupting his thoughts.”What?" He answered rudely. “You have a meeting in 10 minutes Ciel. Don't 'what' me.” Ciel massaged his temple. "You’re a lifesaver Lizzy, I'll be right down." Lizzy was a family friend, and now his receptionist. She had saved his ass many times on many embarrassing situations. Ciel stormed over to the elevator and jammed his thumb on the 'down' button, tapping his foot impatiently.

 

Sebastian was standing in the elevator by himself, leaning against the side with his eyes shut. The stress of work plus the stress of Ciel plus the stress of his mind in general was really starting to wear on him. The door opened with a soft ding and Sebastian opened his eyes and stood up straight, sighing when he saw who was entering the elevator. Right before he made up his mind to get out and take the stairs, the door closed.

 

Ciel huffed angrily when he saw Sebastian in the elevator but stepped inside anyways, determined not to make this situation anymore complicated than it needed to be. He cleared his throat and stood at the other side of the elevator, leaning back against the wall. "Sebastian," he said stiffly, nodding his head once in greeting. The tension in the elevator was almost too much, building up in a bubble that was dangerously close to popping.

 

Sebastian could hardly breathe. All of the tension and anger and unresolved lust was swirling around in the air, and it made the air so thick he thought he was going to suffocate. His hand twitched at Ciel's greeting and that was it, his restraint was gone. Sebastian stepped forward to the panel of buttons and pressed the elevator stop button, so that the elevator froze. He whirled around towards Ciel and slammed his hands on either side of the raven haired male's head. "Ciel." He said in a ragged voice, a twisted version of a greeting, before pressing his lips against Ciel's angrily.

 

Ciel grabbed at the back of Sebastian’s head and kissed him back passionately, his tongue fighting for dominance. He tugged at Sebastian's tie and threw it to the ground, pulling him down so he could attack his neck. He kissed the pale skin roughly, tongue lapping at Sebastian’s Adam's apple, teeth biting roughly at his collar bone and leaving red marks.

 

Sebastian growled at the bites on his neck and slid his hands down to Ciel's waist, gripping it hard in retaliation. "Don't you have somewhere to be?" He asked in a sultry voice, lifting Ciel's head off his neck and leaning down to kiss and suck at his jaw, nipping it harshly.

 

"I, hah- shut up.” Ciel said breathily, mouth falling open in a silent moan of pleasure as his jaw was assaulted by a hungry mouth. He pulled away and looped his arms around Sebastian’s neck and jumped up, wrapping his thighs around Sebastian's muscular torso. He re-attached their lips impatiently and moaned loudly into the kiss, biting Sebastian’s lip and tugging on it before kissing him roughly again.

 

"You must be busy, being an important CEO." Sebastian said inbetween kisses. "Don't worry, I'll make this quick, /sir/." He purred, setting Ciel down to the floor and dropping to his knees. He undid Ciel's belt with expert fingers and unzipped his fly, dropping his pants. "Wow, look at you. So hard already." He murmured, taking Ciel into his mouth without any further taunting.

 

Ciel looked down with heavy lidded eyes as Sebastian dropped to his knees, knocking his head back against the wall as Sebastian proceeded to suck him. He bit his lip as an expert mouth pleased him in all right ways. "Hah- Sebastian.." he moaned, shoving his hand into the back of Sebastian's head and twisting his fingers into the dark raven hair. His other hand loosened the collar of his shirt and he threw his own tie to the floor next to Sebastian's. His knees felt weak as he felt his orgasm building and he pushed Sebastian's head down, moaning loudly.

 

Sebastian was in heaven. Everything about Ciel was perfect, and Sebastian gave in and let himself cherish it. His hands were still gripping Ciel's waist as his head was pushed down, and he dug his nails in slightly. He relaxed his throat to take in as much of Ciel as possible, almost succeeding in taking all of him. Sebastian flattened his tongue and ran it up and down the underside of Ciel's length, feeling the other male tense up slightly. He moaned almost absent mindedly, loving the time with Ciel more than he would care to admit.

 

Ciel let out a high pitched moan as Sebastian's tongue ran along his length and at how he moaned around him. "S-Sebastian I'm about to-" Ciel couldn't even finish his sentence as he came in Sebastian's mouth, eyes rolling back in pleasure.

 

Sebastian swallowed everything he was given, and cleaned Ciel up using his tongue after. He had no words as he stood up and pressed the elevator stop button again, feeling the elevator start to move. He was in complete disbelief that he'd just given in and sucked his boss off in an elevator. He stayed completely silent, not looking at Ciel.

 

Ciel exhaled slowly as he was cleaned, whining quietly as he felt his mouth leave. He opened his eyes and looked up to see a flushed and shocked Sebastian, completely avoiding eye contact. Ciel smirked, fixing himself up and picking up the tie that was on the floor, tossing Sebastian the other. Ciel ran his fingers through his messy hair just as the elevator doors opened and he stepped out, flashing a grin at Sebastian. "Thanks for that." He checked his watch. Shit. He was nearly 10 minutes late. He walked quickly to the meeting room and cleared his throat. "Sorry I got held up. Let's get started." The meeting droned on and Lizzy brought them all coffee as a presentation played on the board. She handed him his coffee with a smile "Nice tie, that's a new one." Ciel looked down in confusion, eyes widening as he examined the tie. It was a smooth maroon velvet tie, the very tie Ciel had ripped off Sebastian's throat. "Fucking hell..." He cursed under his breath.

 

Ciel's grin nearly melted Sebastian, and the older male found himself once again reconsidering his decision not to date Ciel. It was 25 minutes later and Sebastian had just finished filing his reports when he noticed his tie was a different color. He smirked when he realized that it belonged to Ciel, and he stood up suddenly. He made his way to the CEO's office, which was still empty, and sat down in Ciel's chair, putting his feet up on the mahogany desk. He took his tie off and settled back to wait for Ciel to return.

 

After the meeting finally ended Ciel made his way back to his office, only to find Sebastian sitting at his desk with his tie on the table. He closed the door and locked it, slowly walking over to Sebastian and pushing his feet off the desk so he could sit on his lap. "Didn't get enough in the elevator?" He asked seductively in his ear nibbling it slightly. "Y'know I actually really like this tie.." he said, "I might keep it." He held Sebastian's jaw and tilted it to the side, peppering it with soft kisses.

 

Sebastian smiled and pushed Ciel's head off his jaw. "I'm not here for sex this time." He told Ciel, holding him on his lap by his hips. "I want you to go on a date with me. Maybe tonight?" He asked, looking directly at Ciel's face as he talked.

 

Ciel blinked in surprise. "Why the sudden change?" He asked in surprise. "Regardless, I would love to. Pick me up at 7?" Ciel found himself blushing as Sebastian stared at his face intently and he looked down.

 

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "We work together. What would be the point in me going home just to go back out and pick you up? We should just go straight from work." Sebastian chose his next words carefully. "I just decided that I want to give it a try. I think that you're worth enough for me to at least try."

 

"Alright, alright. Meet me here then." Ciel said with a chuckle, before smiling at his next words. "Okay, we'll give this a try." He looked back up at his handsome face and kissed his mouth softly. "Mmmm, I'll see you tonight then." He said breaking away from the kiss, but reluctant to get off his lap.

 

Sebastian looked at Ciel solemnly for a minute before smiling. "What should we do tonight? We could get dinner, or see a movie." He suggested, holding Ciel firmly so that he couldn't stand up even if he wanted to.

 

Ciel gasped slightly as the grip around his hips tightened. "W-we should watch a movie. The saddest one they have in theaters." He said, smiling wider as he recalled them watching Castaway. He thought for another moment. "Let’s do both, dinner and a movie."

 

Sebastian chuckled and raised an eyebrow. "Wow Ciel, I never would have pegged you for a masochist, but apparently I was wrong." He nuzzled his face into Ciel's neck and ran his teeth along the porcelain skin lightly.

 

Ciel closed hummed contently as Sebastian's teeth grazed across his neck. Then suddenly, the phone rang, loud and irritating. Ciel growled in annoyance and leaned over to pick it up, still sitting on Sebastian's lap. "What?" He demanded angrily. “So grumpy today Ciel, what's gotten into your pants? Just a reminder you still haven't scheduled that meeting discussing that new idea you had. Jesus..." Lizzy droned on and on about his attitude and the meeting.

 

Sebastian was jealous of somebody else claiming Ciel's attention, so he intensified his actions with Ciel's neck. He bit down suddenly, and sucked until a bright purple mark appeared. He ran his tongue over the mark once he was satisfied, soothing the welt a little bit. He smirked up at Ciel and observed his reaction.

 

Ciel let out a strangled gasp as Sebastian bit down on his neck, hissing as his tongue ran over the sensitive welt. “Ciel are you alright??!" Lizzy's shouted through the phone, clearly alarmed. "Are you feeling sick again-". Ciel cut her off, "What? No I'm fine, I just.... stubbed my toe on my desk. Jesus woman, calm down.” Ciel rushed out, hoping Sebastian hadn't heard her. "I'll book the meeting okay? Bye." He slammed the phone down. "What the heck?!" Ciel glared at Sebastian with faux irritation.

 

Sebastian's eyes narrowed and he pulled away from Ciel as he heard the woman's shouting. He chose not to answer Ciel's question and ask his own instead. "What did she mean by sick again? Have you been ill?" He asked sharply, studying Ciel's angry features for any sign of an illness.

 

"No! It's not anything contagious I promise!! It's just.. other stuff." He gave a nervous chuckle "I'm clean, I swear, you don't have to worry about anything." Ciel cleared his throat and tapped Sebastian's hands that were on his hips. "We should probably get to work, I'll see you tonight okay?" He smiled reassuringly.

 

Sebastian grabbed Ciel's wrist quickly and held him in place. His expression was not amused. "I'm not sure if you're aware, but I'm your sexual partner. I literally just sucked you off in an elevator. I have a right to know if you're sick, Ciel. Please, tell me what she meant." Sebastian said, forehead creased with concern.

 

Ciel blushed at his words and closed his eyes "Let's just say I don't have the nicest past, and that girl, Lizzy, has seen me at my worst. It's not anything physical, just mental stuff." Ciel rubbed the back of his neck, waiting for the reaction of the man who he clearly just ruined his chances with.

 

If there was anyone who could understand, it was Sebastian. He buried his face in Ciel's neck again, smiling in relief. So Ciel was fucked up too. That was going to make things either so much harder or so much easier. "I understand, Ciel." Sebastian couldn't keep the relief out of his tone as he spoke. "I'll always be here for you if you need anything."

 

Ciel blinked in surprise at Sebastian's reaction. So he wasn't scared off...? "Y-yeah, thank you." He stuttered as he pulled away and pried Sebastian's hands off his hips. "Now get back to work Michaelis, before I fire you.” He teased, kissing Sebastian’s cheek before sliding off his lap. "I'll see you tonight."

 

Sebastian's legs felt empty without Ciel sitting on them. But he stood up anyways and stretched his arms above his head. "I'd like to see you try and fire me." He snorted. "My reports are all done, impeccably of course. The only real thing I've actually done today is you." Sebastian blinked before he started chuckling. "You're paying me to blow you." He didn't give Ciel a chance to respond before exiting the office quickly and returning to his cubicle, to waste a few more hours on nothing before his date tonight.

 

Ciel swallowed as he saw the suit stretch tight over Sebastian’s muscles as he stretched. Ciel's own arms were skinny and lacked any muscle, just like the rest of him. He was starting to frown when he heard Sebastian's snarky comments and found himself fighting off a smile instead. “Hey! What the f-!" He was cut off by Sebastian leaving the room. Ciel plopped down happily in his chair and spun it around in glee. Something was finally going right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Thank you again for reading. We just have one note this time. It appears that the more we write of this story, the darker it gets. Just a small warning!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're back! Just a small warning again. This is where the story starts getting dark. It only gets darker from here, folks. Thank you again for reading! Comments and kudos are loved and appreciated!

As the evening wore on, Ciel sat up to get ready, as bubbly as a schoolgirl getting asked out by a crush. He combed the gel out of his hair and let it hang loosely by his jaw, framing his face. Ciel looked in the mirror and furrowed his eyebrows. "Maybe I should've left it pushed back?" He murmured to himself. "Or is it okay like this? Oh, hell!!" He shouted, ruffling up his hair in annoyance.

 

Sebastian was just about to knock on Ciel's door when he heard shouting from inside the office. He hesitated before he realized that Ciel was only talking to himself, and he pushed the door open. "Are you....yelling at your hair?" He asked with a completely straight face. Sebastian had fixed his tie and appearance so that he looked professional and flawless again.

 

Ciel turned to Sebastian with eyes widened and hair sticking up every which way. "Oh.. I just... ARGH I hate my hair!! It never looks good!!" He pouted, trying to frantically run his fingers through it to fix it. "Meanwhile you come around, looking like some sort of Greek God. Damnit Sebastian!" He muttered under his breath as he continued fixing his hair. Ciel squinted at his appearance, dissatisfied and he threw his hands up in the air. "Hopeless! My hair is absolutely hopeless!"

 

Sebastian walked over to Ciel calmly and turned him around so that his back was to the mirror. "Here. Just look at me." He said with an amused smile on his face as he started to fix Ciel's hair. He brushed the strands to the side and smoothed the top down a bit. "There. Absolutely gorgeous." Sebastian said, not letting Ciel look in the mirror again. "Come on, I've made dinner reservations. At a super fancy place that only the elite are allowed to go to. It's called 'Applebees'.” He joked, hooking his arm through Ciel's as he steered him out of the office.

 

Ciel allowed his hair to be brushed and he felt himself heat up at the compliment. "Applebees?! No way, I heard that's where people like Bill Gates and the Queen of England go!! I can't believe it!" Ciel gushed sarcastically. He pressed the elevator button and smirked up at Sebastian as they stepped inside, the smell of their sex still lingering in the air of such a small space. "No BJ this time? Tch," Ciel shook his head, a cheeky smile playing on his lips.

 

Sebastian licked his lips. "Careful, Ciel. Keep tempting me and we won't end up going to dinner after all. On the bright side though, you would become very acquainted with my bed." He said half joking and half serious, drumming his fingers on the side railing of the elevator.

 

"Oooo is that a promise?" Ciel laughed as they stepped out of the elevator into the cold air of the parking garage. Ciel shivered lightly and allowed Sebastian to lead them to his car. "So where are we eating tonight? I'm starving." Ciel said, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear as it was whipped loose due to the wind. "And have you decided on a movie?".

 

While they were walking to the car, Sebastian leaned down and whispered into his ear, "It's a promise" before straightening up and continuing with the conversation. He raised an eyebrow at Ciel's words. "I already told you where we're eating. Have you forgotten already?" Sebastian opened the car door for Ciel and gestured for him to step inside. "And I'm letting you pick the movie."

 

Ciel stepped into the car and pulled out his phone to see what was playing in theaters. "I'm feeling adventurous, how about we watch that new Marvel movie? Dr. Strange I think it is, I've been dying to watch it." He turned to Sebastian and looked at him solemnly. "Okay. Marvel or DC. Answer wrong and I'm leaving right this second.”

 

Sebastian tensed up. "Personally, I like Marvel. What about you?" He asked as he backed the car up, starting the short drive to the restaurant.

 

"WRONG!!! The answer was both. They are both amazing comics, you can't love one and hate the other. That's just stupid." Ciel put his feet up on the dashboard. "But that's alright, I like you too much to leave and you /have/ given me the promise of food, so I'm all yours till the end of tonight." He saw restaurant lights up ahead and he brightened even more. "Yesss almost there!!" Ciel cheered gleefully.

 

Sebastian shrugged noncommittally. "I was never really into comics and stuff, but I saw the movies. The Marvel ones have the best animation style. And I'm so glad that my movie tastes don't ruin your food plans tonight, thank you so much for staying." He said sarcastically as he pulled into the Applebee's parking lot. "We're here, at your royal palace, my lord." He teased, stepping out of the car and walking around it to open the door for Ciel.

 

"Why THANK YOU, my dear Sebastian! Aren't you one hell of a butler!" He said teasingly, stepping out of the car and intertwining his hand with Sebastian's as they opened the door to Applebee's. A handsome young man immediately walked up to them with a welcoming smile. "Hi. Welcome to Applebee's! Table for two?" The young man tilted his head at Ciel and lifted his eyebrow as he looked him up and down briefly before flashing him a bigger smile. "Yes please, that would be great." Ciel answered, not noticing the way the waiter looked at him.

 

Sebastian certainly noticed the waiter give Ciel a once over, and he narrowed his eyes a fraction and tightened his grip on Ciel's small hand. "A table for two would be lovely." He interjected, trying to assert himself while not being an overly jealous prick. Once the waiter led them to the table and handed them their menus, he put his pen up to his mouth and looked right at Ciel as he spoke. "What can I do for you tonight?" He asked in a borderline flirtatious tone. Sebastian stared daggers at the man, silently outraged.

 

"Hmm... I think for now I'll have a martini. We still need some time to decide." He looked over at Sebastian, who was glaring at the waiter. He kicked his shin under the table to get his attention. "And what would YOU like to drink Sebastian?" Ciel asked loudly.

 

Sebastian didn't stop staring at the waiter after Ciel kicked him. He just responded without looking away. "I'll have a water please." Once the offending waiter walked away, he looked back at Ciel. "What was that for? He was totally flirting with you." Sebastian justified.

 

Ciel leaned back in surprise. “ME?? Why would anyone want to flirt with me? YOU'RE the handsome one!" Ciel huffed. "He was just being a waiter! You know, customer service and stuff. It's called being nice, you should try it some time." Ciel leaned over and poked the wrinkles between Sebastian’s eyebrows. "Stop frowning so much. It causes premature aging you know." He said knowingly.

 

Sebastian was unamused again as he leaned forward. "Ciel. Do you honestly have no idea how you look? How utterly tempting you are? How beautiful you are and how gorgeous your body is? Are you honestly telling me you have no idea?" He asked in a hushed tone as he grabbed the hand poking his forehead and brought it to his lips, kissing it tenderly.

 

Ciel swallowed and blushed at his words, pulling his hand away. "I-I've just never really had a good relationship with myself. It's been drilled into my head, you must look perfect. Strong, muscular, et cetera. I've never really achieved that.." Ciel trailed off as the waiter came by with their drinks. The waiter glanced at Sebastian and smiled widely at Ciel. "Are you ready to order?" He asked, voice dripping with sweetness. Ciel cleared the tears from his throat. "Yeah I'll have the chicken Parmesan, with half the amount of cheese please." Ciel said, sipping from his drink. The waiter turned to Sebastian, the smile instantly duller. "And for you?"

 

"I'll have the pasta Alfredo." Sebastian said plainly, waiting for the waiter to leave. Once he did, Sebastian looked back at Ciel and gave him an honest smile. "You look perfect to me. You compliment my body." He said softly. "Besides, if you were really strong and muscular, then you would try and top me. And that's never going to happen." He said jokingly, taking a drink of his water.

 

Ciel choked on his drink laughing. "Right okay, like I'd want to top anyways.” He took a sip of his martini. "You're too good to be anything but a top" Ciel purred, looking straight at him.

 

Sebastian rolled his eyes at the comment and chose not to say anything to it. Soon, the lecherous waiter brought their dinners. The only thing keeping him from hitting on Ciel more was Sebastian's blatant glare. The rest of dinner passed relatively uneventfully, and as Sebastian led Ciel out to his car he spoke to the male. "Can I take you back to your house, then?"

 

Ciel leaned back against the car door and reached up, trailing his fingers up Sebastian's neck and pulling him down for a kiss. "Why don't you take me back to your place?" He purred in his ear. "The night is still young, my darling." He said, giggling softly as he kissed Sebastian again, fingers tangled in Sebastian's velvet soft hair.

 

Sebastian licked his lips nervously as he tried to not let himself get distracted by Ciel's kisses. "That's....probably not the best idea." He spoke quietly. "I would much rather go to your place. I'm interested to see what the abode of a CEO looks like." He said, leaning down to lick the shell of Ciel's ear as he spoke.

 

"Babyyyy..." Ciel whined. “I live nearly an hour away. I can't wait that long." He bit his lip as Sebastian ran his tongue across the helix of his ear, shivering slightly at the sensation. "C’mon Sebastian, pleeeeasse?" Ciel begged as he kissed sweetly along Sebastian’s jaw line.

 

Sebastian hated himself for not being able to resist Ciel's begging. He nodded in defeat and pulled away, walking to the driver's side of the car and getting in slowly. He may have conceded defeat, but that didn't mean he was happy about it. Sebastian was especially nervous to show his place to Ciel. He hadn't had a lover at his house since- no. Stop. That is a bad train of thought. Not even mentioning the fact that Ciel was a fucking CEO and Sebastian lived in a shitty one bedroom apartment. All of these thoughts and then some ran through Sebastian's mind as he drove home, nervously stopping in front of his building and getting out of the car, opening the door for Ciel again.

 

Ciel smiled gratefully as Sebastian grudgingly agreed. Ciel studied him during the car ride there, noting his nervous behavior. They arrived quickly and Ciel stepped out of the car and reached for Sebastian's hand. “Hey, are you okay? You seem kind of... stiff." He raised their hands which were clasped together and kissed the palm of Sebastian's hand. "Relax. Unless there are literally human remains inside your house, I'm not going to judge you." He promised.

 

Ciel's joke worked. Kind of. Sebastian relaxed a bit and laughed. "No human remains." He promised before leading Ciel into the building and climbing the stairs up to his apartment on the second floor. He unlocked the door with the key and watched the door swing open silently. "Well....here we are. It's no Ritz-Carlton, that's for sure, but it's home." Sebastian answered honestly, stuffing his hands in his pockets as he surveyed his three room apartment. There was a large living room, kitchen, and dining room combination when you first walked in. A door on the left led to the only bedroom, and next to it was the only bathroom. Sebastian lowered his gaze slightly as he felt shame creep up on him about his living conditions. He should have been able to afford better. He honestly should have.

 

Ciel said nothing, but henlooked right into Sebastian's downcast eyes. “Hey. Stop, okay? Home is home no matter the size or condition. I'm glad you brought me here." He said truthfully, smiling up at Sebastian and standing up on his tippy toes to kiss his lips softly.

 

Sebastian knew he had to be careful tonight, it being the first night he's even had another person in his apartment since his 'incident’. However, he hasn't exactly been careful with Ciel so far, so why start now? When his lips were kissed by his shorter partner, he leaned down to grab those hips he liked so much as he parted his lips. Sebastian started pulling Ciel gently, but firmly, towards his bedroom.

 

Ciel's heart leapt as Sebastian pulled at him and he grabbed the back of Sebastian’s head as he kissed him deeper, tongue rolling in and out of his mouth. The second they made it into the small bedroom, he pushed Sebastian down on the bed and climbed on top of him, straddling his waist as he kissed him again. He broke away to pull his own shirt off and throw it on the ground, reconnecting their lips and ravaging them at the soonest possible moment.

 

Sebastian let out a breathy sigh when Ciel pulled his shirt off, and his hands immediately went to Ciel's petit chest, exploring the skin. He let Ciel straddle his waist, because he was still in a position of control here. "Ciel." Sebastian crooned, moving his hands down to unbutton Ciel's trousers.

 

Ciel tilted his head back as Sebastian's warm hands caressed his chest and unbuttoned his pants, eagerly wriggling out of them and casting them aside. His fingers fumbled as he unbuttoned Sebastian's shirt, fingers trailing down his muscular abdomen. He leaned down to kiss Sebastian's neck and bit down to his collar bone, leaving red marks as he swirled his tongue over the new bites.

 

Sebastian let his neck be bit as he closed his eyes at the feeling. His eyes flashed open suddenly and he pulled Ciel's face back to meet his own, meeting their lips in a gentle kiss. Sebastian reached down to palm Ciel through his boxers, moving his hand in tight circles.

 

Ciel parted his lips and moaned into Sebastian's mouth. "Hah- fuck,” he breathed. He let himself enjoy the sensation before he grabbed Sebastian's wrists and pinned them above his head. "Mmmm- before you fuck the living daylights out of me, you're mine. I'm in control.” Ciel whispered hotly in his ear, following the words with a wet lick up his neck, tongue lapping at the smooth skin below his ear.

 

Sebastian's breathing quickened at the words and the actions- and not in the good way. Those last three words had Sebastian grinding his teeth, trying to keep himself sane. "C/iel/.” He gasped out, twisting his wrists in Ciel's grip. He shivered at the hot breath in his ear, and his body started trembling lightly at the familiarity of the situation.

 

Ciel tightened his grip around Sebastian's wrists, completely oblivious of his mental state, and kissed along his jawline, his hips grinding against Sebastian's muscled torso. He nipped at his chin and moaned against it just as he ground his hips harder against Sebastian's waist. "Hah- fuck... you're all mine baby," Ciel moaned against his skin.

 

Sebastian absolutely lost it when Ciel's teeth made contact with the ribbed scar on his chin. He yelled in panic and lashed out, pushing Ciel off of him hard enough for the boy to go flying off the bed. Sebastian's breath was coming in short harsh pants as his body shook uncontrollably. He sat up and drew his knees into his chest, eyes open but seeing nothing as memories swelled over him.  
~  
'"No, please.” Sebastian sobbed, tugging at his wrists, which were restrained with a necktie. Aiden stared straight at him as he dragged a blade across his own wrists, blood falling to the floor. "I guess next time you won't talk to anybody without my permission, Sebastian. Right?" Aiden gasped out, digging the blade in deeper. Sebastian's chest was heaving as he watched his love hurt himself, and tears fell in thick streams down his face.'  
'"Aiden please." Sebastian begged, feeling his heart break as he stared at his boyfriend. Aiden was completely ignoring Sebastian, pretending to not even see him. "Please, please, I miss you, I need you." He pleaded, falling to his knees in front of Aiden, who still refused to acknowledge his existence. For the 4th day in a row.'  
'Sebastian choked out a sob as more scalding oil landed on his back. "Please." He gasped out. "Hurts." Aiden smiled and dripped more oil onto Sebastian's back. "Hush now. Fear not the flames of my love." Aiden said, watching the oil leave deep red marks. Sebastian just squeezed his eyes shut and trembled, unable to do anything and completely hating himself for it.'  
'Sebastian stared at himself in the mirror with blank eyes. His eyes traveled down his bruised chest slowly, archiving every cut, every blemish, and every injury he'd been inflicted this time. As his gaze drifted to the deep purple marks on his arms, his only thought was how he would cover them up. All of sudden, Aiden was behind him, wrapping his arms around Sebastian's waist and putting his chin on Sebastian's shoulder. "You're beautiful." He whispered with a grin as he started kissing Sebastian's neck. Sebastian tilted his head to the side to give Aiden better access as he continued inventorying his injuries, and the best way to make them go away.'  
'"You need me" Aiden cooed, stroking Sebastian's hair. "You can't live without me. You wouldn't survive. What would you do without me?" He asked. "I need you." Sebastian whispered. "I can't live without you. I wouldn't survive. I don't know what I would do without you." Aiden smiled, stroking Sebastian's cheek. "Good boy."'  
'"No, no more, please." Sebastian whispered, his pleas completely ignored as his lover took another swig of his drink. "You've had enough, Aiden." He tried timidly. Aiden turned on him suddenly, fixing him with a glare that could kill. "Who the HELL do you think you're speaking to?" Aiden barked, swinging his fist at Sebastian's face. Sebastian winced as the fist connected with his face, but he did not retaliate. His apparent meekness only aggravated Aiden, and he swung again. This time he swung his glass bottle at Sebastian, striking him in the head. The bottle cut his chin and behind his ear, knocking Sebastian out as he hit the floor hard.'  
'When he awoke in the hospital, he was alone. He spent the next couple of months that way; alone. Aiden had left town right after the bottle incident. He had disappeared without a trace, leaving Sebastian alone and confused.'  
‘Sebastian sat staring at the bottle in front of him. "I need you." He whispered in a barely audible voice. "I can't live without you. I wouldn't survive. I don't know what I would do without you." His voice cracked as he murmured the words deeply ingrained within his skull. He picked up the bottle of chemicals and placed it to his lips, tilting his head back as he opened his mouth wide, ready for it all to end as he took desperate swallows of the poison.'  
~  
Sebastian shook and cried out in helpless fear as he gripped his skull, being tortured by his past and unable to escape.

 

Ciel yelped in surprise as he was pushed off of Sebastian, his back ramming hard against the floor. "Sebastian? What-". He was cut off by the blood curdling screams of anguish filling the small apartment. "Sebastian? What's wrong?" Ciel scrambled back onto the bed and sat in front of Sebastian. "Wha-what happened? C’mon baby, listen to me!" Ciel said desperately, scared to touch Sebastian as he was lost in his own mind. He focused on the scar on Sebastian’s chin and widened his eyes. He hadn't noticed that before. "See look. I have my own scars.” Ciel blurted out as twisted himself to the side and showed off the light feathery scar that marred his side. "It's okay. Breathe. Talk to me.” He hesitantly touched Sebastian's hand and looked up at him. "Come back to me, Sebastian.”

 

Sebastian choked when he was touched and he jerked away, but began to calm down at the sound of Ciel's voice. Everything was too familiar. The apartment, the bed, the loss of control, the scar- it was too much. As Ciel kept talking, Sebastian kept calming down until he focused on Ciel again. "W-where....get the...scar?" Sebastian forced out of trembling lips, pressing his palms to the mattress firmly to ground himself. He wanted Ciel to keep talking, to keep distracting him.

 

"These? Hah well it's kind of a long story.." He saw that Sebastian was beginning to calm down so he kept talking. "Well my parents weren't around much they.. they were addicted to drugs. Pretty much everything on the face of the earth and they never really cared for me. I was a nuisance, just another drain to the money they could've used to buy more pot." Ciel squeezed his eyes shut to stop the the tears, but he kept going. "I probably would've died before I even turned one if it weren't for my Mom’s sister, Aunt Scarlett. She came to visit every day to feed me, bathe me, things like that. She kept me alive. But she came by one day when I was 4 years old. I was crying over my parents who were convulsing and vomiting on the ground, they had overdosed on God knows what. She scooped me up wailing to her house without another word. I have no idea what happened to my parents. They're probably dead."  
Ciel spat bitterly, tears now streaming down his face. "Aunt Scarlett already had 4 kids, all boys. They were all strong, did soccer, then baseball, then football. And then there was me. Small, weak, and constantly sick because I was always surrounded by smoke and filth before Aunt Scarlett took me in. Her kids beat me up constantly but to her, I was just another financial sore. So I guess she wasn't too different from my parents in the first place." Ciel wiped the tears away, but they were immediately replaced by new ones as he cleared his throat. "They pinned me down one night. I was 16. They were all bigger than me. They pushed me down and just let loose. They punched me, scratched me, tore at my hair. I tried to get away but I was just too weak. They were so much stronger and I hated that. One of them had their keys, the oldest, and he had one key between each knuckle and he-" Ciel stopped, choking back a sob. "'See these keys? I have these because this is MY FUCKING HOUSE. You don't belong here you bastard.’ I'll never forget those words. He dragged them across my sides over and over and I just lay there helpless." He whispered. “I packed my stuff and left the next day. It wasn't easy but I worked my way up to where I am now. And I am strong. I got myself through it." He said firmly, looking up at Sebastian again. "I don't know what hell you've been through but know you are stronger than that. You are better and don't let ANYONE tell you different."

 

Sebastian sat silently staring at the only person in the world who had successfully calmed him down from a PTSD attack. "Ciel." He finally spoke once he found his voice. "I am so sorry." He apologized for both Ciel's past and his own actions. Sebastian held his arms out to Ciel. "I suppose I owe you an explanation, if you want. Do you want to know what hell I've been through?" Sebastian offered for the first time in his life.

 

Ciel gave him a small smile and reached over to hold his hand. "Don’t apologize. And only if you want to, just know that I'm here for you if you do want to talk okay?"

 

Sebastian pulled Ciel into an embrace where Ciel was sitting on his lap. He stroked Ciel's hair in small, calming motions as he tried to think of where to start. Finally, he began. "When I was 16 years old, I had a boyfriend. He was everything to me. However, I guess I wasn't worth that much to him." Sebastian whispered. "I'll spare you the details, but he fucked me up. To the point where after he left, I tried to kill myself." He admitted in a low voice. "Obviously I didn't succeed, but it took me a long time to recover. And I'm obviously still not better, if a couple minutes ago was any indication. I have not had a relationship since. I have not had anyone here since. I have not had anyone else in a position of power over me since. Until you." Sebastian finished, burying his face in Ciel's hair.

 

Ciel draped his arms around Sebastian's shoulders and rested his chin on them, listening to Sebastian as he told his story. Pangs of anger and sadness tore through him as Sebastian spoke and he closed his eyes to stem the flow of tears when his hair was nuzzled. He sat there in peaceful silence for hardly a moment before he flinched away in realization. "Wait... I did this? I sent you into a panic?? I-i caused this?" Ciel stuttered, wide eyes staring right into Sebastian's.

 

Sebastian frowned under Ciel's gaze, and he looked at the distressed male with confusion. "No, you did not cause this. Of course not. This was not your fault at all, you don't even get a little bit of blame, understand?" Sebastian insisted. "This was all me, all me." He tightened his hold around Ciel in what he thought was a reassuring motion.

 

"No Sebastian, wait," Ciel pulled away from him and untangled himself from his grasp. "What this guy did to you wasn't you, that was HIM and his fucked up mind okay? And I need to know what causes this... panic attack. I don't want to see you like that again." He said worriedly.

 

Sebastian's frown deepened when Ciel pulled away, and his hands twitched. He paled slightly at hearing Ciel's request, but he decided to follow through with it anyways. "Fine. The biggest thing is...losing control. I have to be in control of myself at all times, or I will lose it." Sebastian whispered shamefully, tilting his head down so he spoke to the floor. He had never admitted this out loud to another person. "Getting drunk doesn't really work for me, and smoking is right out. This scar on my chin is a tough spot, don't mention it." He said, gesturing to the scar on the left side of his face.

 

Ciel smiled and climbed back onto his lap and cupped Sebastian's face gently and lifted it up and looked into maroon eyes, careful to avoid the scar. "Thank you, for telling me. I'm here for you okay?" He leaned closer to softly peck Sebastian’s lips, the gesture sweet and genuine.

 

Sebastian closed his eyes at the sweet kiss and suddenly pushed Ciel onto his back, so that Sebastian was leaning over him. He bent his head down to nip at his ear as he spoke. "I will be yours, but you have to be mine. Understood?" He asked in a low voice before burying his head in Ciel's neck. "Ciel...." He spoke suddenly. "What the hell are we doing? This is wrong."

 

Ciel sighed and pushed his fingers into the back of Sebastian's head, tugging and massaging his hair softly. "I know..I know," he pulled Sebastian's head away from his neck so he could look at him. "But I don't care," he said raggedly and pulled him down for a passionate kiss. “I want you.”

 

Sebastian participated in the kiss for a couple seconds before breaking it. "I know. I want you too. More than you know. But we aren't thinking about this. I mean- you're my boss's boss. And I can't do healthy relationships. And I'm a messy person, whereas you're a clean person. You're- you're Ciel. And I'm me. I mean, what are we /doing/?" Sebastian insisted with a creased brow, not moving from his position over Ciel, his hands planted on the mattress on either side of Ciel's head.

 

Ciel laughed. “Yes, I am   
me and you are you. My name is Ciel and yours is Sebastian, that is rather obvious isn't it?" He teased. Ciel's smile slowly faded. "Sebastian, I have a messy past too, and I have done and still do things I am not proud of. As for relationships… God I can hardly even remember the last time I was in one, but hey I'd like to be a part of that healthy relationship.. with you." Ciel blushed at the cheesiness of his words and cleared his throat. His hands moved from the back of head to the sides of Sebastian’s face to brush his thumbs across his cheekbones. "Sebastian.. I want to give this a chance. I've already told you more than what most people know about me and I want to be there for you." He said quietly. "Please..?"

 

Sebastian didn't verbally answer. He leaned down to nuzzle Ciel's neck affectionately, almost lovingly, before moving up to Ciel's lips. He planted a sweet, yet firm kiss there, and held the kiss until he pulled away for breath. As he pulled away, Sebastian studied Ciel's face and broke out into a smile. "You're right." He spoke softly. "I don't much care what happens. As you so eloquently put it earlier, 'I want you'”.

 

Ciel smiled at his words and pulled him down for another kiss, humming contently as he pulled away. "It's been a rather long day hasn't it? Bed time?" Ciel asked, yawning after his words.

 

Sebastian pulled away completely, rolling off of Ciel and laying down next to him. "What, no sex?" He teased. "So I made a confession like that for nothing?" He said with a grin that clearly indicated he was joking. Regardless of his words, he curled an arm around Ciel and pulled him close to his body, holding him protectively. "Good night, baby." He crooned, resting his chin on Ciel's head.

 

Ciel chuckled against Sebastian's warm chest and draped his arm over his waist. “Shhhh, sex tomorrow okay? Goodnight." He mumbled before placing a quick kiss just under Sebastian's collar bone.

 

Sebastian hummed softly until he was certain Ciel was asleep. Only then did he close his eyes and fall asleep himself. While this was happening, he lied to himself. He told himself he wasn't in love.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

Sebastian shifted around as he woke slowly, body still curled around the smaller form of Ciel. He shook his boss softly and placed a kiss on his forehead. "Good morning princess." He murmured sleepily.

 

Ciel blinked blearily as he was awoken with a soft kiss. "Mmmm good morning," he said pulling Sebastian down to peck his lips. "What time is it?" He craned his neck to look at the bedside table clock. 7:35am "OH SHIT SHIT SHIT I HAVE AN ORIENTATION AT 8!” Ciel clambered out of bed and promptly tripped, falling on his ass. "Owwwww" he pouted, frustratedly running his fingers through his disheveled hair. 

 

Sebastian stared seriously at Ciel for a moment before bursting out laughing. He slid out of bed and walked over to Ciel, picking up the younger man like it was no problem. He set Ciel back on his feet and kissed his pouting face. "You'd better hurry up then. I can get us to the office in 10 minutes, so get dressed now." Sebastian said. "I'll make breakfast quickly. Come on now, move!" He emphasized his words with a smack to Ciel's butt before snickering again and waltzing out into the kitchen.

 

Ciel yelped and glared at Sebastian's back as he pranced out of the room. He ran into the bathroom and brushed his teeth, deciding to use Sebastian's toothbrush after only a moment of hesitation. Ciel threw on his clothes from yesterday and even spritzed himself with Sebastian's cologne. He hummed contently at the familiar scent and walked into the kitchen. "What's cookin' baby?" Ciel asked with a playful smile on his lips.

 

Sebastian had gotten himself dressed while Ciel was in the bathroom, and he was throwing an apple and a granola bar into a brown paper bag. Sebastian's work attire was impeccable and professional as he rolled up the bag neatly and handed it to Ciel. He smiled in response to Ciel's playfulness. "Something not too messy that you can eat in the car, now come on. Don't want you to be late for an orientation." Sebastian guided Ciel out of the apartment and back into his car. It was only once they were in the car when he realized something strange. "Ciel....are you wearing my cologne?" He asked incredulously, backing out of the parking lot and starting the drive towards work. He glanced at the clock. 7:52. He pressed a little harder on the gas pedal.

 

Ciel smiled. “Mayyyyybe...I didn't have time to shower so I just used a bit. Hopefully you don't mind." He smiled widely before biting into the apple. “Mmm- I used your toothbrush too, by the way." Ciel stated, a little dribble of apple juice hanging onto his bottom lip. 7:55. Ciel could see the office building not too far away and sighed quietly in relief.

 

Sebastian shook his head. "No I don't mind. And no, I don't mind you using my toothbrush either. It's not like we don't already share bodily fluids, yes?" Sebastian spared a glance at Ciel at a red light, and immediately wished he hadn't. He faced forward suddenly, his cheeks flushing a light pink as he gripped the wheel tighter. Ciel with the still-sleepy eyes, and the apple residue on his face was cute. Too damn cute. Sebastian could not deal with this sight right now or they would never make it to work on time. Mainly because they would turn around and go straight back to the apartment. The light turned green and he stepped on the gas maybe a bit more enthusiastically than truly necessary.

 

Ciel jolted forward as the car rushed ahead and he shot a little glare at Sebastian. His eyes caught the little scar on his chin as it glinted in the sunlight as they pulled into the parking lot. "Hey..." Ciel murmured, leaning over to kiss Sebastian gently on the lips, his hand cradling his face delicately. He pulled away and rested his forehead against Sebastian’s. "Thank you for opening up to me, as well as listening to me last night. It meant a lot." Ciel flushed slightly at their close proximity, but closed the gap with another kiss.

 

Sebastian was startled as he was kissed, but he lifted his own hands to cup Ciel's chin after a moment. "You're welcome. I will always listen to you." He murmured, closing his eyes as their lips met again. Sebastian kept the kiss going for a minute until he broke away. "Come on. I didn't break the speed limit just for you to miss the orientation anyways." He said with a grin as he unbuckled his seatbelt and stepped out of the car, walking into the building quickly. Sebastian made sure to be ahead of Ciel, so it didn't look like they arrived together.

 

Ciel groaned and looked at his watch. 7:59. Crap. He walked quickly to the board room while straightening out his clothes and hair, ignoring Lizzy’s admonishing. "Good morning to you too, dear." He said with a cheeky smile when Lizzie flushed with rage. "You're late idiot, he's already in there." Ciel rolled his eyes and stepped inside the room, outstretching his hand to the other man waiting. "Good morning, welcome to the Funtom Company. I'm the CEO, Ciel Phantomhive, and you must be Mr. Aiden Salvatore. Pleasure to meet you.” Ciel smiled winningly as they shook hands. "I'll be showing you around the office and handing you off to someone who can train you. I'm a very busy man unfortunately." He chuckled.

 

Aiden smiled as his hand was shaken, and he laughed along with Ciel. "Of course Mr. Phantomhive. Actually, I hope you don't mind, but I was here rather early so I already took a tour of the office. If it's no problem, could you give me the room number of the office I should get trained in? I wouldn't want to take up any more of your time than strictly necessary." He said smoothly. Aiden rather liked this man. He was business, but not to the point of coldness. Maybe Aiden could use him somehow.

 

Ciel nodded. “Of course, follow me." Aiden was polite and incredibly handsome.. so why did Ciel find him so unsettling? He lead him to Sebastian's office and knocked on the door before entering. "Sebastian, this is Aiden. He’s going to be your branch manager. Do you   
mind doing some minor training while I run off to a meeting?" Ciel looked at his watch again and frowned. "I really have to run, thanks Sebastian I owe you one." He winked at Sebastian and glided out the door, closing it behind him.

 

"Of course. It would be my pleasure to-" the words died on Sebastian's tongue as he looked up from his desk and froze at the sight before him as his entire world fell apart. Sebastian sat frozen, his heart beating a hundred miles an hour as his mind tried to explain what was going on. His fingers started to tremble as memories flashed behind his traumatized eyes and suddenly Sebastian was hyper aware of the scar on his chin. It was almost like he could feel the bottle smashing his chin, or feel the poison sliding down his throat again. This can't be happening. It's not possible. Meanwhile, the trainee hadn't seemed to realize what was going on or who he was talking to yet. "Hello, I'm Aiden Salvatore. Pleasure to meet you." Thank god Sebastian looked different enough to not be recognized immediately. It was the fear in his eyes that ultimately gave him away. Aiden waited impatiently for a moment and when Sebastian didn't answer, he glanced at Sebastian's desk. There was a nameplate there that read 'Sebastian Michaelis'. A shocked look flitted across Aiden's face before a grin slowly split his lips. He looked up at the man who was practically quivering in his chair and purred, "Sebastian. It's been too long." Sebastian was still frozen in place, and he was clenching his fist so hard his knuckles were stark white. But what was he supposed to do? His worst nightmare had just come back to life. Aiden decided to have a little fun with this, and walked forward slowly, watching Sebastian tremble more with each step he took. Aiden leaned forward and lifted a hand to Sebastian's face, stroking it softly. The second Aiden's fingers made contact with his face, Sebastian shot up out of the chair and out of his office so fast he couldn't even blink. He ran to the first and only place he could think of- Ciel. Sebastian ran as fast as he could to Ciel's office, knocking over two inboxes and one woman on the way there. He didn't care. He had to get to Ciel. He burst into the office and slammed the door behind him- only to realize that he was alone in the office. That's right. Ciel had a meeting. Sebastian took two shaky steps before collapsing on the floor in a crumpled heap. His chest started to heave, but he refused to sob. It was okay. Sebastian would just wait here until Ciel got back. He curled himself up on the floor and cupped the scar on his chin with one hand. It felt like it was bleeding again. Sebastian's eyes were wide and unfocused, and his body was trembling.

 

Lizzie shot up as she saw Sebastian run into Ciel’s office. "Excuse me, you-" she stopped abruptly as the door slammed shut and she could hear quiet sobs coming from the room. She reached for the phone and called Ciel’s number. Ciel picked up immediately, "I’m at a meeting this better be important.”   
"A guy just ran into your office crying.. the tall one with nice hair. Ciel what the fuck is that?"   
"Sebastian?! I'll be there in a minute." Ciel hung up and dismissed the meeting, speed walking to his office, but soon breaking into a full out sprint. He burst into the room to find Sebastian in the corner, a crying shaking mess. He closed the door behind him and knelt down. "Sebastian, what is it? What's wrong?" He reached his hand out to touch him but he pulled back, scared to make it worse. 

 

Sebastian looked up at Ciel while still holding his hand to his chin tightly. His eyes seemed to focus a little as he looked at Ciel. "Ciel." He gasped. "It- it hurts. It won't stop b-bleeding. It hurts so bad." He whimpered pitifully. If Sebastian were aware of how he was behaving at the moment, he would truly be ashamed of his actions. "It h-hurts so much make it stop!"

 

"What? Let me see, come on.” Ciel tapped the hand covering his chin lightly. He hated seeing Sebastian like this, the anguish in his face and voice so palpable that his voice was shaking as he tried to comfort him. "Sebastian, I'm here what's wrong? Tell me.."

 

Sebastian shakily removed his hand from his chin and tilted his head back so it touched the wall. He was still clenching his fists so tightly they were starting to hurt, and his chest was rising and falling rapidly. "S-see? It won't s-stop bleeding. Oh god it hurts, it hurts." He mumbled out.

 

"What? It's not-" Ciel looked up at Sebastian, who was so sure it was bleeding. "Okay Sebastian, hold on." He pulled out a handkerchief and dabbed the scar. "There, it's all better now." He smiled and held Sebastian's hand in his. “How did this happen again?" Ciel squeezed his hand. "Come back to me baby.."

 

Sebastian seemed to relax more as Ciel held his hand, and after the ‘bleeding’ had been stopped. "It was, um, it was the bottle. The bottle-" Sebastian's eyes widened and he suddenly gripped Ciel's hand with force. "Ciel. He's here. A-Aiden's here, oh god what am I going to do? What am I going to do?!" He asked desperately, staring intently into Ciel's eyes as if searching for the answer.

 

"Where? Aiden-?" Ciel’s eyes widened. "Oh my god. The branch manager, Sebastian I’m so sorry I had no idea." He whispered. "I-I'll get him transferred to a new division okay? I'll get him away from you." Ciel said desperately, but he had the sinking realization that there was no way he could do that. They had been looking for a new manager for months, there was no way he could get rid of Aiden that easily. "Where is he now?" He asked flatly, stomach starting to boil with rage.

 

"I, um, I don't know. I think h-he's maybe still in my office?" Sebastian mumbled miserably. As reality started to come back to Sebastian, he stood up, tugging on Ciel's hand for him to stand up too. He took a deep breath before apologizing. "I'm so sorry for this. I can handle this- I can be an adult. It's just he touched my face and I freaked out- but it was 10 years ago now so I should be fine- I can handle this, should be no problem at all." He muttered almost incoherently. Sebastian was still holding onto Ciel's hand and he leaned in to kiss his forehead with lips that only held a hint of a tremor. "Thank you, Ciel." He said quickly, trying to get out of the office as fast as possible so that he could go hide from Aiden some more.

 

"Sebastian, wait.” Ciel squeezed his hand and forced him to look down into his eyes. "You need to promise me you will avoid him at all costs. Any trace of kindness in him is fake, especially after what he did to you. Okay? Promise me." Ciel lifted his chin up at Sebastian, his voice holding authority.

 

Sebastian furrowed his eyebrows. "I can't avoid him at all costs. I have to train him, remember?" He said anxiously. "I'll do it quickly, I'll be done in a week instead of two. Then I never have to look at him again." Sebastian looked right back at Ciel. "Will you stay with me for the week? In my apartment, I mean. So I'm not alone there?" He asked quietly. Sebastian wasn't worried about seeing any kindness in Aiden. How could he ever see anything in Aiden except pain, after all?

 

Ciel bit his lip. No one else was available for training. He had no choice. "Damn it all!!" He hissed, fingers tearing through his hair. "Okay, if he does ANYTHING, anything at all you come to me immediately. And yes, I'll be moving in with you for the time you are training him." Suddenly the phone rang. He leaned over and picked it up. "Lizzie please don't tell me I have another meeting." Ciel sighed, defeated and slammed the phone back down. "I have another meeting. I can blow it off if you want me to stay with you longer. I don't mind.”

 

Sebastian shook his head adamantly and grabbed Ciel's hands, stilling them. "Relax. I will be okay. He can't hurt me anymore- I won't let him. You can't blow off another meeting, you're the CEO. Your company takes precedence over me." Still Sebastian was supremely nervous on the outside and he put this facade on for Ciel. He kissed his bosses forehead again before exiting the office. Sebastian slowly and uncertainly walked back to his own office, and pushed the door open. Aiden was sitting in one of the chairs, and he looked up at Sebastian expectantly with a grin. Sebastian straightened up and stilled his hands. "Mr. Salvatore. I would like to begin your training now. Are you ready?" Aiden stood up and nodded. "Yes, sir. I'm ready." He said respectfully. Sebastian was taken aback. What is this?

 

***  
Hours later Ciel knocked on Sebastian's door with a suitcase, the frigid air biting at his flushed skin. "Sebastian, It’s Ciel," he called, teeth chattering as the wind blew harder.

 

Sebastian opened the door immediately and pulled Ciel inside. He slammed the door and kissed Ciel deeply, holding both sides of his face in his hands. Sebastian broke away after two minutes with a wide smile on his face. "Welcome home, Ciel." He said breathlessly.

 

Ciel yelped as he was pulled inside, Sebastian's warm lips and hands enveloping him and warming him to the core. Ciel smiled back and hugged him tight. He pulled away and studied his face for any trace of hurt or trauma but finding nothing. Sebastian could get through this.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, we're still here! Thank you to everyone who has continued to read this story. We have now officially finished writing this story, and we were NOT joking when we said it gets dark. Please enjoy this happy, fluffy little chapter! Let us know what you think!

Ciel woke up to his alarm clock screaming at him again. "Ahhhh whyyyy..." he mumbled, trying to get up but finding himself flush against Sebastian's warm chest. He kissed him just under his collarbone and smiled against his skin. "Wakey wakey, time for work" he said, nuzzling closer into Sebastian. Ciel could get used to this.

 

Sebastian was much less receptive than usual to waking up. "No." He moaned, pulling Ciel closer to him and squeezing his eyes shut. He had absolutely no desire to wake up and go to work and face Aiden today. Even if the bastard wasn't actively trying to make Sebastian freak out, sometimes he did it unintentionally. Sebastian tightened his arms around Ciel and groaned again. "No."

 

Ciel could hear the apprehension in his voice and he squirmed out of his grip and straddled his waist, placing his palms firmly on Sebastian's chest. "You can do this. Okay? That weak piece of scum can't do shit to you and you are going to face him with your head held high, strong and powerful." Ciel leaned down to lay his head on Sebastian’s chest, listening to his heart. “But if you need me, you know where I'll be. And you TELL ME when he does anything.”

 

Sebastian rolled over so he was hovering over Ciel. "I will. I appreciate your concern, baby. It really is sweet." He climbed off the bed and got dressed slowly, waiting for Ciel. "Tell me when you're ready to go, Ciel." He said with a smile as he walked out into the kitchen to prepare some breakfast. 25 minutes later they were pulling into the parking lot at work, and Sebastian smiled again. "I'll see you tonight, Ciel." He said softly, exiting the car.

 

"Mmkay, be careful Sebastian," Ciel said as they parted ways at the end of the hall. ‘He's not a baby Ciel, snap out of it. He will be fine.’ Ciel thought to himself. He sat down at his desk with a huff and twirled around in his chair for a bit before the phone rang. "Good mooooorning sunshine," he said with a smile as he heard Lizzie giggling on the other end. "Morning Ciel," she said. "I just wanted-"  
Ciel sighed angrily, "PLEEEASE don't tell me I have a meeting right now.” "No no, I was just wondering if you'd like to get coffee later." Silence on both lines. "I would LOVE TO but I have some side projects to work on. Sorry! Talk to you later!" Ciel slammed the phone down on the receiver and sighed, exasperated. The clock still only read 9am. Oh the things he would give for it to be night again... to see Sebastian.

 

Sebastian walked into his office as confidently as he could given the circumstances. Aiden was already there, sitting in a chair with his legs crossed, tapping on his phone screen. Sebastian clenched his jaw and moved towards his desk like nothing was wrong. And in reality, nothing was truly wrong. Aiden had been pleasant all yesterday, never pushing a single boundary. Sebastian was hoping that today would be much the same. "Mr. Michaelis. Good morning. Did you sleep well?" The snake asked respectfully. Sebastian nodded while still looking at his desk, shrugging off his coat. "Yes, fine. Thank you for asking." This was strange for Sebastian. Having Aiden call him sir. Addressing him as Mr. Michaelis. It set Sebastian at ease, because it made him feel like he was the one who had the control. Maybe Aiden wasn't as bad as Sebastian remembered. Maybe he'd grown up. Sebastian still didn't like the bastard, but he was no longer deathly terrified of him.  
~  
Aiden smirked as he saw Sebastian relax at his use of 'Mr. Michaelis'. So this was going to be easier than he thought. Good.  
~  
Training went smoothly for the day, with only a few minor things worth noticing. Aiden stopped calling Sebastian sir, and started using his name. And Aiden started to dissolve a few personal space barriers, but not nearly enough to make Sebastian uncomfortable. Overall Sebastian was still comfortable and almost relieved at how this training was going. It was going better than he could have dreamed. He was mulling this over as he waited outside by his car for Ciel after work.

 

Ciel stepped out into the chilly breeze and saw Sebastian's tall form leaning against the car door, waiting for him. He walked quickly towards him and immediately pulled him into an embrace. "How was your day?" He asked quietly into his chest. "How was..." Ciel didn't need to finish. Aiden's name hung heavy in the air, a bomb waiting to explode.

 

Sebastian wrapped his arms around Ciel and nodded in acknowledgment of his unspoken words. "Fine." He whispered. "He hasn't done anything, but I will be glad when this is all over." Sebastian said simply, before grasping Ciel's hand and walking him over to the passenger side of the car, opening the door for his lover and closing it behind him. He got in the car a few moments later and started driving in an unfamiliar direction, not their usual way home.

 

Ciel closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the seat, exhausted after today. He opened his eyes after a moment and looked outside the window. Snow had begun to fall, the delicate flakes swirling in the wind. He looked beyond the snowflakes and frowned. "Sebastian, where are we going?".

 

A light smile graced Sebastian's lips and he drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. He looked straight ahead as he spoke. "Are you sure you want me to tell you? Can't it be a surprise, Ciel?" He practically purred, in a much better mood the further he got away from the workplace.

 

Ciel's apprehension melted at Sebastian's gentle smile and velvet voice. He blushed "A-alright I guess." He folded his hands in his lap in an attempt to still his restless fingers. He HATED surprises more than anything, but he kept his mouth shut and they drove in silence.

 

Sebastian's smile broadened at Ciel's trust as they continued to drive. 10 minutes later in a comfortable silence Sebastian pulled into an empty parking lot and exited the car. He opened the door for Ciel before walking to the back of the car and opening the trunk, pulling out a thicker jacket for Ciel and a suitcase. "Here you go, dearest one." Sebastian hummed, passing the coat to Ciel. "Follow me." He said, taking Ciel's hand and leading him to a pathway off the parking lot. Scarcely two minutes later, they arrived at a small pond that was completely frozen over. Sebastian dropped to one knee and popped open his suitcase, revealing two shiny pairs of ice skates. He grinned up at Ciel impishly. "Do you like ice skating, Ciel?"

 

"I hate ice skating," Ciel grumbled, feigning annoyance. “ I can barely walk on solid, non slippery ground, much less ice." He sighed and smiled up at Sebastian. "But I'm willing to endure it if I'm with you." He said, picking up the ice skates. They sat on the bench at the edge of the pond to tie their skates. Once he had finished he turned to Sebastian. “Ready?”

 

Sebastian's eyebrows furrowed upon hearing Ciel's complaints about ice skating, and he put his own skates on silently, deep in thought. Once Ciel was finished, he stood up and put a hand over his own heart, smiling again. "Please allow me to help you. What kind of employee would I be if I couldn't help my boss enjoy something as simple as ice skating?" Sebastian asked before pulling Ciel into his arms fully, so that Sebastian was supporting almost all of his weight. He gave Ciel no time to complain before skating backwards and starting to spin in tight little circles.

 

Ciel squeaked as he was suddenly pulled onto the ice, clinging wildly onto Sebastian as they glided across the ice. "Wai-WAIT wait slow down!!" He screeched.

 

Sebastian didn't listen, laughing at Ciel's reaction as he spun them around gracefully again. He leaned his head down and whispered close to Ciel's ear. "Don't you trust me? I won't let you fall. I promise." He tightened his hold on Ciel's waist as he spoke, moving smoothly around the pond. Sebastian started to hum a little tune as they spun peacefully, the snow flakes falling making it feel like a scene out of a movie.

 

Ciel groaned but pulled away slightly to carefully rest his hands on Sebastian's shoulders, comforted by his powerful hands on his waist keeping him from falling. "How are you so damn perfect?" Ciel huffed, breath forming a little cloud between them. He was starting to enjoy himself and closed his eyes, letting the snow flakes gather on his eyelashes.

 

Sebastian began to feel more at ease as he saw Ciel start to relax, and he slowed down a bit. "Perfect? Oh I know nothing of perfection." He chuckled, tipping his head back in order to feel the cool bite of the snow on his nose, his chin, his cheeks. Sebastian was content as they spun around, moving their feet in a rhythm together so that neither of them would fall down.

 

Ciel laughed gleefully this time as they spun around on the ice, enjoying the crisp wind on his face. "Oh my god-!" He squealed happily, just as his skate caught on a divot in the ice and he tumbled into Sebastian, knocking them both onto the ice. He lay on Sebastian's chest for a moment before pulling away, a huge smile on his face. He laughed breathlessly and lay on his chest again, still laughing. "Are you okay?" He asked with a little giggle.

 

Sebastian looked up at Ciel for a minute, not speaking any words as he just stared. Ciel looked so happy, so beautiful. It was breathtaking. He decided that he wanted to see Ciel like this every day as he nodded with a laugh. "Yes, I'm fine. However, I'm starting to get a little worried about how red your face is. Are you cold? Should we head back now, my lord?" He asked, lifting a gloved finger and touching Ciel's nose.

 

"'My lord', that's a new one," Ciel chuckled. He nuzzled his face into Sebastian's neck for a moment. “Once a week, we are coming to ice skate" he said firmly, looking into Sebastian's eyes. "This is too much fun to pass up." He held the finger that was poking his nose and kissed the fingertip, "I am rather tired so we should head back" his voice was tinged with reluctance as he spoke. Ciel tried to stand up, pressing the palms onto Sebastian's chest for balance but falling promptly on his ass. He looked expectantly at Sebastian. "Are you going to help me or not?". 

 

"Once a week then." Sebastian promised. He would have helped, except he was too busy sniggering. He stood up fine on his own and looked down at Ciel. "Come on, baby. You can do it. You're a big kid now, you can do it all by yourself." He said with his trademark smirk as he crossed his arms and skated a few feet back from Ciel.

 

"Stupid shit," Ciel muttered under his breath and tried to stand up, legs wobbling like jello. After many, many attempts Ciel stood up, shaking vigorously. "OKAY now I'm up, get your tall ass here and help me balance.” He screeched. Hands outstretched to balance himself.

 

Sebastian was completely out of breath from being doubled over in laughter by the time Ciel actually stood up. He was so impressed with the entertaining performance that he skated right over to Ciel and cupped his face, kissing him gently for a minute before taking him by the hand and guiding him off the ice carefully. "Good job, I knew you could do it." He said in a voice still thick with laughter as he sat back down on the bench and removed his ice skates.

 

Ciel smiled into the kiss and held his handy tightly as the glided off the ice. They removed their skates and got back into the car, Ciel immediately cranking up the heat. "When did you learn to skate?" He asked.

 

Sebastian started driving and quieted down at Ciel's question. He looked uncomfortable briefly before answering. "Aiden taught me." He mumbled, staring straight ahead at the road as he pulled into the apartment parking lot.

 

Ciel looked down, ears turning even redder. "Oh... well that was so much fun!" He said brightly, hopping out of the car and stepping into the apartment, fingers intertwined with Sebastian's. "Home sweet home.." he said under his breath, smiling at the comforting scent and warmth that filled the small apartment.


	8. Chapter 8

"I'm glad you enjoyed it." Sebastian said with a smile as they re-entered the apartment. Hearing Ciel call his house home lit a warm tingly feeling in Sebastian's stomach. "Baby." He purred, pulling Ciel close to him. "How tired are you, and what time do you start work tomorrow morning?" He asked with a tilt of his head.

 

Ciel reached up and looped his arms around Sebastian's neck, tingles running down his spine at Sebastian's voice in his ear. "Hmmm.. I don't start work till later. And I'm still wide awake" he whispered, tangling his fingers in Sebastian's hair and standing on his tiptoes so his face was hardly an inch away from Sebastian's, a teasing smile spreading across his face.

 

Sebastian smiled sweetly as he pulled away and stretched, walking into the kitchen and grabbing a bottle of water. "That's good. It gives you some time to relax before you have to go to bed." Sebastian said conversationally, before taking a seat at the kitchen table and pulling out his phone, looking completely nonplussed.

 

Ciel crossed his arms and pouted briefly before smirking. "Sebastian," he said smoothly, slinking over to him and coming up behind him to rest his chin on his shoulder. "Since when do I have a bed time? I'm not a child," he said, emphasizing the last phrase as he played with the buttons on Sebastian's shirt.

 

"I am well aware that you aren't a child, and I never said you had a bedtime, simply that you should go to bed early if you want to be well rested tomorrow. Why? Was there something you wanted?" Sebastian asked innocently as he snaked an arm around Ciel's waist, pulling him closer. "You know I can't read minds, Ciel. If you want something you have to tell me."

 

"You," Ciel whispered, sitting on Sebastian's lap. He bit Sebastian's ear gently,"I want you," he purred, pushing his hips down into Sebastian's lap with his lips barely touching his skin.

 

Sebastian pulled Ciel's head down and kissed him deeply, running his hands down Ciel's back and smooth waist, ending at his backside. He rested his hands there as he pulled away again. He set Ciel down on the floor and walked away once more, towards the bedroom, stretching. "Maybe later. I'm exhausted." Sebastian said with a full out grin on his face as he collapsed on the bed.

 

Ciel moaned into the kiss as Sebastian's hands run down his back. Suddenly he was on the floor and Sebastian was leisurely walking away from him. “L-later?" He stuttered, head still spinning from the kiss. Ciel walked into the bedroom and leaned against the doorframe. "Fine" he said shortly, and laid down next to Sebastian. He closed his eyes for a moment but huffed in frustration, climbing on top of Sebastian so he was straddling him. "Sebastian pleaseeeee," Ciel begged, hating the whininess of his voice.

 

Sebastian sat up immediately, tangling his fingers in Ciel's hair, with the shit-eating grin still on his face. "Of course baby. Why didn't you just say so?" He asked, pushing Ciel down so that his head was on the end of the bed, and his feet were on the pillows. He claimed his mouth in a fierce kiss, while stroking Ciel's cheek softly with his left hand.

 

Ciels yelp was smothered by a hungry mouth ravishing his own and he tangled his fingers in Sebastian's hair, kissing him messily. His hands trailed to Sebastian's chest and he pawed at the buttons. "Take this off”, he growled against Sebastian’s lips, biting the bottom lip before sucking on it to soothe the harsh bite. 

 

There was no longer a smile on Sebastian's face, only lust and hunger were visible as he sat up and undid the buttons of his shirt quickly. He leaned down and did the same to Ciel's shirt, shrugging the shorter male out of it and throwing it to the side. Moments later, Sebastian's mouth was attached to Ciel's neck as his hands roamed the torso beneath him, traveling their way down Ciel's chest to land on his favorite place- Ciel's hip bones. Sebastian ran his thumbs over the bones and massaged them, loving how they felt against his fingers.

 

Ciel squeezed his eyes shut and swallowed as Sebastian caressed his hip bones, hating the way they jutted out, hating how scrawny he was. "Sebastian.." he rasped "I don't.." Ciel bit his lip, still loving the feeling of his hands on his body, making it feel as if every inch of his skin was on fire.

 

"What?" Sebastian urged, skimming his teeth over Ciel's pulse point. "You don't what?" He asked in a low voice, edging Ciel's pants down a little bit so he had even more access. He ran just the pads of his fingers along the hipbones lightly, before returning to a firmer caress.

 

Ciel sighed, his nervousness, his self consciousness melting away as Sebastian touched him. His back arched into the touch with a quiet moan. "More, I want more," he breathed.

 

Sebastian reassured Ciel gently with a soft touch to his abdomen and a meaningful glance before returning to his ministrations. "Good." He murmured, shuffling Ciel's pants all the way down and tossing them off the bed, doing the same to his own. Sebastian leaned down to attack those hip bones with his teeth, leaving small bites as he ran his hands down Ciel's smooth thighs. "Perfect. You're perfect." He whispered quietly.

 

"Ohhh Sebastian.." Ciel groaned, reaching down to run his fingers through Sebastian's hair. His erection became painfully tight in his boxers and he instinctively bucked his hips, wordlessly begging for Sebastian's touch.

 

Sebastian was going to tease Ciel some more. He had planned on teasing until his partner shed tears. However, he just couldn't resist it anymore. He hooked his fingers under the waistband of Ciel's boxers and pulled them down unceremoniously, flinging them aside with the rest of the clothes. Refusing to waste anymore time, he crawled back up the bed until his face was level with Ciel's. "What do you want tonight? How do you want me?" Sebastian asked completely seriously, all teasing foregone.

 

Ciel pulled him down to whisper in his ear. “I want you to touch every square inch of my body, I want you to mark me as yours, I want- no I need you inside me.” He brought his knee up to press it against Sebastian's member. "Please," he whispered, kissing and licking his ear.

 

Sebastian closed his eyes for a minute before suddenly snapping them open and bringing two fingers up to Ciel's mouth. "Whatever my baby wishes." He purred, taking his other hand and bringing it down in between Ciel's legs, where he grabbed his member and started pumping slowly. Sebastian was paying rapt attention to his partner, watching in mesmerization. Sebastian felt in control, and it was absolutely amazing.

 

Ciel closed his eyes and leaned his head back, succumbing to the pleasure of Sebastian's hand on his cock, stroking it with deft fingers. Ciel looked back at Sebastian, panting heavily with heavy lidded eyes. "Kiss me, ohh Sebastian kiss me," he moaned.

 

Sebastian did as he was told and claimed Ciel's mouth in a short, yet passionate, kiss. He broke away a few moments later as he stuck his fingers in his own mouth, sucking them for a few moments. He never stilled the movements of his other hand as he carefully slid one finger inside Ciel, paying attention for any reaction other than pleasure, any indication that Sebastian should stop.

 

Ciel watched Sebastian suck on his fingers and his stomach tingled with anticipation. He exhaled slowly as his long finger slid inside him, his lips parting. He opened his eyes again to find Sebastian watching him carefully and he smiled. "I’m fine baby, mmm keep going." he groaned, grinding his hips further into Sebastian's finger.

 

Sebastian smirked at his encouragement, and he crooked his finger in what he knew to be exactly the right place. He massaged that little spot thoroughly as he slipped a second finger inside Ciel. Sebastian leaned down to Ciel's stomach and kissed it gently, mouthing the words 'I love you' onto the skin, where Ciel couldn't see him say it.

 

Ciel let out a loud moan, almost a scream, when Sebastian's fingers moved inside him, hitting precisely the right spot. He ran his hands through his lover's hair hair as his stomach was kissed with a tenderness he knew only Sebastian held. "Take me," he moaned, writhing under Sebastian's touch. "I need you, please.”

 

Sebastian furrowed his eyebrows in concern over how little preparation Ciel had, but he wasn't exactly in a mind to resist right now. He withdrew his fingers and rubbed whatever wetness still remained on them onto his member, slicking it efficiently. He sat up and put his hands on either side of Ciel's head, pushing in slowly until he was all the way in, breathing heavily while staying still.

 

Ciel bit his lip as Sebastian pushed himself in, a dull ache spreading through his body. He lay still for a moment to allow himself to adjust to Sebastian's cock. After a moment he shifted so his legs were up on Sebastian's shoulders, causing him to slide in deeper and eliciting a high moan form Ciel. "Sebastian," he breathed, clutching at the sheets. 

 

"Oh for-God." Sebastian hissed out as Ciel put his legs on his shoulders. He slid his eyes shut halfway as he basked in pleasure for a moment before he started to move, slowly. He was careful yet firm in his movements as he leaned down to whisper in Ciel's ear. "Tell me when you're ready for me to fuck you hard and fast, just like you like it." He breathed out.

 

Ciel relished in the slow pace and Sebastian's reaction, pleased with his ability to pleasure his lover. He lay still for a few moments, eyes shut and mouth falling open at the deep and slow movements . He buried his face in Sebastian's neck and bit down, tongue swirling across the red bite marks "Now, fuck me.” He demanded as he started to become frustrated with the slow pace.

 

Sebastian smiled again and gave one hard thrust before returning to the slow pace. Perhaps he could stand a little teasing after all. "Are you sure? What would be the fun in that?" He crooned, wrapping his hand around Ciel's cock again and pumping it at the same excruciatingly slow pace. "Don't you want to feel all of me, everytime I slide into your sweet little body?".

 

Ciel gasped as Sebastian thrusted once quickly and let out a deep groan as he continued his deep, slow pace. He reached up and pulled Sebastian's head down for heated kiss, tongues lapping as his hungry moans filled the room. "Ohh yes Sebastian," he whispered breathily in response to the whispered words.

 

Sebastian tried not to let a self satisfied smile show as Ciel agreed to his slow pace. As much as Sebastian loved making Ciel cry out uncontrollably, he wanted tonight to be different. He moved slowly, slamming himself in as deep as he could before pulling out and slamming in again slowly. A deep groan left his lips as Ciel's body massaged him just right. "Damn..." Sebastian groaned out lowly as he kept up his pace.

 

Ciel crooned into him, the pleasure wracking his body, each nerve being set on fire. He ran his fingers through his lover's hair and trailed his hands down to his back, nails digging into his warm flesh and pulling him closer. Overcome with lust, his nails scraped across his skin harshly leaving red scratches on his back where blood bubbled up moments later. 

 

Sebastian gasped and bucked his hips when he felt the nails on his back, the pain clouding his mind to a place he rarely visited. "Oh fuck, Aiden." He gasped out unconsciously. Sebastian kept thrusting, completely unaware of what he did. He leaned down to kiss Ciel's neck quickly, trailing his lips down Ciel's neck. "Fuck".

 

Ciel froze when Sebastian called Aiden’s name and slowly lifted his hands off of Sebastian's back. "Sebastian stop. Get off me," He said calmly, voice still breathy and rough, "Now."

 

Sebastian did as he was told immediately, falling onto his elbows beside Ciel, panting with a confused expression. "W-what? What's wrong? Did I hurt you? Are you okay?" Sebastian was honestly clueless about his mistake. Calling Aiden's name accidentally during sex had never been a problem for him before, because he usually hooked up with one night stands that assumed he would rather be with someone else.

 

Ciel turned to him, "Do you still have feelings for Aiden?" He asked softly, his voice heavy with hurt. "Do you still love him, even after everything he did?" Tears had begun to form in his eyes but he blinked them away, suddenly feeling incredibly insecure. He crossed his legs and covered his chest, ears burning as he looked away from Sebastian.

 

"Do I....?" Sebastian asked, confused as to why Ciel would ask such a thing. He thought back to his haze a few moments ago and his mouth dropped open in horrific realization. "Oh my god. Oh my fucking god." Sebastian muttered in a slightly panicked tone. He grabbed Ciel's chin and moved it so Ciel was looking at him. "Look at me. Ciel. I don't. I don't still love him I promise. I-I don't I swear." 'I love /you/' Sebastian thought miserably, but he couldn't bring himself to say it aloud. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to say that, I don't know why I said that." He spoke quickly, desperately trying to get his point across. "I-I'm sorry." He finished lamely, still holding Ciel's chin with a slightly trembling hand.

 

Ciel gently brushed the hand away and tucked his hair behind his ear. "I accept your apology.” He said quietly. He sat there for a moment in silence until the tension between them was suffocating. "We should go to bed anyways," he said quietly voice cracking in the middle as he got off the bed and put on his night shirt. He closed the drawer and looked down at his feet. "Sebastian... you have to let go of him eventually. You're too good for him." Ciel looked back up at Sebastian with an unflinching stare, "It’s him or me Sebastian... and I'm not going to let you pick him." He said evenly, yet despite his calm tone he was shaking and his knees threatened to give way.

 

Sebastian picked up his own shirt and boxers while Ciel picked his up, biting his lip while he did so. He felt like he had screwed up horribly, and the choking silence made Sebastian want to crawl in a hole and die. Sebastian's eyes widened at Ciel's words, and he lunged at his partner, grabbing him in a tight hug. "Thank you, Ciel." He breathed. "Thank you for choosing me." He set the male gently on the bed, pulling the covers over him before crawling into bed himself. He pulled Ciel into his chest before whispering into his hair. "You have no idea how much I want to let go. How much I want to forget he ever existed. You have....no idea what he did to me. How much I want to just...." Sebastian trailed off.

 

Ciel let himself be hugged and tucked in by Sebastian. As much as he wanted to pull away when Sebastian pulled him into his chest, the warmth smothered him and he choked back the sob that he had been struggling to hold in as Sebastian spoke. He put his arm around Sebastian's waist and closed his eyes, memories of his ruined childhood flashing behind his eyes and the scars on his side tingled. "I know," he mumbled. "I know."

 

Sebastian stroked Ciel's back gently as he closed his eyes. "I'm sorry." He mumbled again. "For everything. You deserve....much better." Sebastian somewhat slurred as he slipped off to sleep extraordinarily quickly. The warmth by his side did wonders for him.

 

Ciel shook his head against Sebastian's chest, "but I want you," he said looking up to find him asleep. "Goodnight Sebastian.." he said before drifting into a tremulous sleep   
-  
"Stop, please!! I'm begging you!" Ciel sobbed as he was pinned down to the bed, his cousins surrounding him with evil smirks. "Fucking pussy," one of them growled, ripping Ciel’s shirt away to reveal a bony chest. "Maybe we should carve some abs into this, boys," he snickered, scraping the keys against Ciel’s side teasingly before shredding them across his skin. Ciel screamed but suddenly the pain stopped and he opened his eyes to find Sebastian in his place with Aiden looming over him, slicing his side over and over again with the same keys that were stained with Ciel’s blood. "Sebastian? No!! Stop it!!" He screamed, but he was immobile, only able to watch as Sebastian stared at the ceiling with pained eyes, refusing to say a word. He watched in horror as Aiden licked away Sebastian’s tears. "Good boy..." Aiden growled. "NO!!" Ciel screeched, unable to tear himself from his nightmare.

 

Sebastian was first awoken by Ciel's thrashing. He shot up in a panic and saw what was going on. "Ciel? Ciel!" He exclaimed, shaking the male who had tears on his face. Sebastian blinked when Ciel shouted his name, and he furrowed his eyebrows. He stroked Ciel's sweaty hair back from his face, not wanting to touch him more than that. "Ciel! Wake up, come on." Sebastian shook him gently again. "Wake up!"

 

Ciel squeezed his eyes shut and suddenly the gruesome scene vanished, instead Sebastian and Aiden walked into a cake shop, a bright smile on Sebastian's face as he pointed at the chocolate cake. Aiden smiled warmly and bought it. "I knew chocolate was your favorite." He said as they sat down at a table, Aiden feeding his companion a bite of cake. "S-Sebastian?" Ciel whispered. Sebastian turned and looked at him with disgust for a moment before returning to his cake, as if he was never there.  
\-   
Ciel stopped screaming but his eyes remained closed as he was trapped still in his nightmare. "No.." He whispered. "Don’t leave.." Tears were streaming from his closed eyes. "Why?" He sobbed, curling into himself.

 

Sebastian frowned when Ciel didn't wake up. He was starting to panic. "Ciel!" He half-shouted, deciding to ignore his earlier judgement and pull Ciel into his arms. Sebastian held him the best he could, rocking gently as he kept stroking the hair out of his face. His mouth hung open as he got a clue as to what Ciel was dreaming about. "Ciel...." He whispered helplessly before letting his more efficient side take over. "Ciel." Sebastian said firmly. "I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere. I'm here. I love you. Wake up please, I've got you. I won't let anything happen to you, I promise. They will never hurt you again. Nobody will ever touch you again with me here. Please wake up. Please." He pressed a kiss to Ciel's sweaty forehead as he pleaded for his partner to wake up.

 

Ciel's eyes whipped open and he found himself in Sebastian's arms with lips pressed against his forehead. He blinked and scrambled out of his arms. "Take off your shirt. NOW!" He demanded, pushing Sebastian down on the bed and tearing his shirt up. He checked his sides and found them unmarred, to his relief. Ciel sighed and rested his head on Sebastian's stomach. "Thank god.." He breathed, tears of relief filling his eyes. "It just felt so real.." The image of Sebastian looking at him with disgust flashed in his eyes and he closed his eyes, fearing to look up and find the same expression looking back at him.

 

Sebastian's eyes widened as he was pushed down, and after his shirt was ripped up he grabbed Ciel's thin wrists in alarm. "Ciel, what? You had a nightmare, alright? Are you okay?" He asked, lifting Ciel's head off his stomach and looking intently into his eyes, surprised to see tears there. "I'm right here." He murmured, stroking Ciel's cheek with his thumb.

 

Ciel looked into Sebastian's eyes to find him staring at him with concern, not disgust, nor hatred. He leaned his face into Sebastian's hand and crawled up to lay on his chest and buried his face in his neck. "Just... just hold me.. okay? Please.." He whispered.

 

Sebastian immediately pulled Ciel into his arms again, no questions asked. He wrapped both arms around Ciel tightly, squeezing him gently. "Do you want to talk about it? Why don't you tell me what you dreamed?" Sebastian asked softly, perversely dying of curiosity.

 

"It was the day I got these," Ciel guided Sebastian's fingers to the scars marring his side. "But then it was you... and Aiden..." Ciel trailed off, unwilling to tell him the last part of his nightmare, them in the bakery as a happy couple, the part that hurt the most. "Please don't go to him Sebastian," he said, his voice rough. ‘Don't leave me..’ Ciel thought desperately.

 

Sebastian's mouth parted in confusion upon hearing that Aiden was in Ciel's nightmare. "Of course I won't go to him. I swear it." He whispered softly, kissing the top of Ciel's head. He glanced at the bedside clock and raised an eyebrow. "It's 4 am, and we both have work in a few hours. Maybe we should try to sleep again. Do you feel like you could fall asleep again, if you knew I was here?" Sebastian mumbled softly, not wanting Ciel to be in any discomfort.

 

"Yeah, let's sleep" Ciel rolled off of Sebastian and curled into his chest instead. He closed his eyes and breathed in his familiar scent, immediately feeling calmer, but he could not fall asleep. He stayed curled into Sebastian's chest till morning, dreading the ring of the alarm that would inevitably tear Sebastian away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, that took for-freaking-EVER! Apologies to anyone (if there even is anyone still reading this) that waited so long. Let us know what you think, or if you want more. Every comment makes us smile! We hope your days have been going fantastically.


	9. Chapter 9

Sebastian fell asleep about 10 minutes after they closed their eyes, and was only awoken by the shrill sound of the alarm. He blinked his eyes open grumpily, absolutely hating mornings, when he registered heat and weight on his chest. Ciel. "Good morning, sunshine." He mumbled with a voice still thick from sleep. "Did you sleep okay?" He asked as he brought a hand up to the bedside table, slamming it on the alarm with as much violence as he could muster.

 

Ciel blinked, horrified that morning had come so quickly and he had not gotten a wink of sleep. "Yes I did," he lied. "You?" He asked, his voice muffled against Sebastian's chest.

 

"I slept alright. I'm glad to hear that you got at least some sleep after your night last night." Sebastian said, not unkindly, as he pressed a kiss to Ciel's forehead before rising. "Come now, it's time to rise and greet the day." He said with a disgruntled look on his face as he walked into the bathroom. One hot shower and change of clothes later, Sebastian was in the kitchen, packing breakfast as usual. He checked his watch. They had a bit of time before they would have to hurry, but Sebastian would rather not be late. Now all that was missing was Ciel. Sebastian wanted to give him a bit of space this morning to recover from last night.

 

Ciel sat on the edge of the bed and was suddenly overcome with nausea and he put his head in his hands. "Shit," he mumbled, stumbling out of bed and into the shower. He turned on the hot water and let it stream down his body, sighing contently. He closed his eyes and his nightmare flashed in his mind, the sensation of the warm water suddenly not unlike the warm blood pooling on his side and onto the sheets. Dark laughter echoed in his ears and his eyes shot open with a gasp. And with that, they rolled back in his head and he promptly collapsed with a loud thump.

 

Sebastian was just checking his watch impatiently when he heard a heavy thud. His head shot up and he started walking back towards the bedroom. "Ciel?" He called out. "Is everything okay?" When the bedroom was found to be empty, and Sebastian heard the shower running, his eyes widened. He walked into the bathroom quickly without knocking, and almost choked to see Ciel lying on the ground unconscious in the shower. "CIEL!" He shouted, rushing over and first turning the water off so Ciel didn't drown. His teeth clenched at the mere thought of somebody else close to him drowning, and he pulled Ciel out of the tub vigorously. Grabbing a towel, Sebastian started to dry Ciel almost neurotically, all while talking to the unconscious male. "Ciel? What happened? Are you okay? Did you hit your head? Are you sick?" After a minute of mumbled questions, Sebastian realized Ciel was still unconscious and talking to him was getting nowhere. Sebastian was on the verge of calling an ambulance when he noticed the dark ingrained bags under Ciel's eyes. He traced them with a frown. How had he missed these? Ciel must just be exhausted from stress and his nightmare, Sebastian figured. He picked up the other male like he weighed nothing and carried him into the bedroom, setting him down carefully in the middle of the bed. There was no way in hell Sebastian was going to just leave Ciel here by himself today, what if something did happen that made him collapse? He pulled out his phone and dialed the contact labeled 'Boss', intending to let his boss know he was going to be out sick today. It wasn't until Ciel's phone started ringing on the dresser that Sebastian realized what he'd just done. He rolled his eyes with a loud scoff and ended the call. Honestly. How stupid could he be? That settled it then. Sebastian had to go to work today, simply because of the fact that the office couldn't have both the CEO and a manager absent on the same day. The office would fall to pieces. Sebastian carefully covered Ciel with a light blanket and set a bottle of water on the night stand. He frowned at the unconscious Ciel, feeling uncomfortable leaving Ciel here alone and feeling even more uncomfortable about the fact that he would have to face work alone today. Oh well. It was no matter. Sebastian could handle this. So he straightened his tie and marched out of the apartment, grabbing his breakfast on the way out. It didn't matter if he was a few minutes late. His boss wasn't there to scold him for it, after all.

 

Ciel woke up groggily hours later and looked at the clock. "Oh FUCK," he shouted. The clock read 12:00, way past late and what was even scarier is that he had over 20 voicemails from Lizzy. He sat up, wincing at his throbbing head before immediately falling back onto the bed. He recalled the events in the shower and groaned. "Sebastian?" He called out, sighing in relief when he didn't hear a response. Good, he had gone to work. The office needed him. Yet, he was slightly disappointed Sebastian hadn't left at least a note or a voicemail. He lay in bed for a few more moments when he came to a realization: it would be just Sebastian and Aiden. No buffer between them, no one to be there for Sebastian. "Oh no.." he whispered, jumping to his cellphone to call Sebastian. "Cmon, pick up!" He mumbled angrily.

 

Sebastian's work day started with him being more on edge and on guard than usual because of Ciel. Aiden had brought coffee for Sebastian, his favorite blend. Sebastian grudgingly accepted the coffee with a thank you, however he didn't drink it. He didn't trust Aiden enough yet. So he dumped it down the sink in the break room when no one was looking. Aiden seemed to be satisfied by Sebastian's acceptance of his gift, because he was at ease and laid back for a good part of the morning. So when Aiden invited Sebastian to have lunch with him, Sebastian declined. He was still uneasy about the whole day, and shot Aiden down, claiming he already had lunch plans. And he did have lunch plans. He was supposed to be having lunch with Ciel. But since Ciel wasn't here, Sebastian decided to go out to lunch by himself. He left the office when his break started at noon time, leaving everything but his wallet behind. Including his phone. Within walking distance was a decent pizza place, where Sebastian stopped to have a salad. He hadn't had many opportunities to go to the gym since Ciel moved in, so he would be sticking with salad for now.

 

Ciel growled angrily as he was forwarded to voicemail. "Sebastian, are you at work? Are you okay? What about.." Ciel trailed off. “Nevermind, call me when you get this!" He hung up angrily and lay back in bed. "Hang in there, Sebastian." Ciel said quietly to himself.

 

After 25 minutes of munching a salad and staring longingly at the pizza, Sebastian sighed and started heading back to work. It took a few minutes for him to get back, and Aiden was waiting for him upon his return. "Hey, boss. How was your lunch?" Aiden asked with an almost cheeky smile, falling into step next to Sebastian. He was doing absolutely everything he could to make Sebastian trust him again, and that meant empowering Sebastian. Making him feel like he was in control. What a joke. Meanwhile Sebastian shied away from Aiden only slightly, a huge difference from when he'd first arrived. "My lunch was alright. Can I trust that yours went well, and you're ready to get back to work?" He asked, not looking at Aiden at all. "Of course, sir. I'm ready to work now." Aiden answered, just barely holding back a grin. The day flew by until suddenly it was 4 o'clock, and Sebastian was ready to pass out. He had been so busy he hadn't even had a chance to check his phone. He was so tired that it meant that when Aiden brought him coffee again, this time he drank it gratefully. Sebastian responded to the coffee with a "Thank you" and a small smile. An hour later, it was 5 o'clock and finally time to go home. Sebastian grabbed all of his belongings and stepped into the elevator, only now checking his phone. He groaned when he saw a voicemail and a missed call from Ciel. Shit. Sebastian would be home in about 10 minutes anyways and he would see Ciel then, he reasoned, tucking his phone back into his pocket. The drive home was swift, and soon he was walking into his apartment, taking his shoes off. "Ciel? Are you awake?" He called out quietly, in case Ciel was still asleep. 

 

Ciel was sitting on the floor in their room, building a house of cards out of a deck he found in the drawer. He flinched when Sebastian called for him and the cards fell everywhere. "SHIT!" He cursed, falling back on the floor in exasperation. "Yes yes I'm awake." He grumbled.

 

Sebastian's eyebrow shot up at the exclaimed expletive, and he moved into the bedroom to investigate. "Oh, Ciel." He sighed out, seeing the fallen cards. He moved over to the male and touched his forehead gently, feeling for fever. "Are you feeling alright? You gave me quite the scare earlier." He mentioned, furrowing his brow a bit when Ciel's face felt warm to him.

 

Ciel swatted his hand away. "Don’t go on about scares, giving you scares, why didn't you call me back? Or at least leave me a note when you left..." he said, trying to keep the hurt out of his voice. "How.. how was work?" He asked tentatively, the unspoken question clear.

 

Sebastian's eyes widened. "Oh. I'm sorry. I didn't even think about leaving you a note." Sebastian sat down on the ground beside Ciel and crossed his legs. "Work was fine. Everything went well." He said shortly. "Except for the fact that Elizabeth was practically going out of her mind looking for you. She's really angry that you weren't in today. Speaking of that, what happened this morning? Did you just...pass out? Are you sure you aren't sick? It feels like you have a bit of a fever." Sebastian said in a rapid fire manner, hoping to distract Ciel from his unspoken question.

 

“I was just tired I think... I didn't sleep too well. Last night was a bit... much." Ciel responded slowly. He cleared his throat, "And Elizabeth can suck my ass for all I care." He pouted, laying back down on the floor and closing his eyes. "How was Aiden?" He asked bluntly.

 

Sebastian lowered his head out of guilt when Ciel mentioned last night. He knew it was his fault that Ciel didn't sleep properly. After all, Sebastian could have tired him out very effectively, if he just hadn't said Aiden's damn name. However he had to smile once more when he pictured Elizabeth sucking Ciel's ass. "Aiden was....surprisingly tolerant. He bought me coffee." Sebastian admitted with a shrug.

 

"Oh, I see. I'm glad it's all going well then." Ciel started to slowly pick up the cards that were strewn across the floor. "Just be careful." He said absentmindedly as he slid the cards back into the box. He looked up at Sebastian and plastered on a huge smile. “Enough of that, what's for dinner darling?" He started to stand up, only to stumble forward right into Sebastian's chest, knees buckling under him.

 

Sebastian grinned when Ciel fell on him. "Hello, baby. Did you have a nice trip?" He asked with a straight face before falling into his back, laughing his ass off at his own lame joke. He was laughing so hard that it was shaking Ciel who was on his chest. He grabbed onto Ciel's tiny waist to hold him in place while he laughed.

 

Ciel rested his head on Sebastian's chest to stop the room from spinning, the shaking of Sebastian's laughter only making him more nauseous. But he refused to kill the mood. He let out a weak laugh and climbed up to nuzzle his head in Sebastian’s neck. "Shut up, you idiot.” He said, smiling against his warm skin. He lay there for another moment before sitting up and straddling Sebastian's waist. "I'm HUNGRY you big dork, and my cooking skills are HARDLY mediocre so if you could-" Ciel stopped, clamping his hand over his mouth and running to the bathroom and crumpling to the floor just in front of the toilet and vomiting all over the floor and toilet seat. He leaned forward and heaved into the toilet, his hair hanging in front of his face in a straggled mess.

 

Sebastian was about to make a witty retort when Ciel jumped up suddenly. He was so taken aback that he followed Ciel, only to see him throw up everywhere. Sebastian immediately rushed over and grabbed Ciel's messy hair, pulling it back towards the crown of his head. He used his other hand to rub soothing circles on Ciel's back. Once Ciel appeared to be done heaving, he combed his fingers through Ciel's hair at a loss for words. "Ciel...are you sure you're okay? Maybe we should go to the hospital."

 

Ciel's vomiting bout ended as quickly as it started and he breathed heavily over the toilet, eyes screwed shut and hands shaking on his lap. "Get out." he rasped, tears starting to flood in his closed eyes. "Don’t look at me like this! Get out!!" He wailed, the rancid odor of vomit making his head spin. He waited for Sebastian to comply and he clambered up to the sink and he cleaned himself and the bathroom the best he could, but it still reeked. Ciel sunk back to the floor with his back Against the door with his head between his knees. It was the anxiety. The small possibility Sebastian could leave him for Aiden... Ciel sat up straight again. No. he was going to protect Sebastian from that monster no matter what, and there was no way he could go to him, especially after everything. He opened the door to the bathroom and took a step out. "I..I'm sorry for stinking up your bathroom.” he said quietly, looking down at his feet.

 

Sebastian recoiled when Ciel yelled at him, and he narrowed his eyes as he complied. He sat down outside the bathroom door and put his head in his hands, feeling like a failure of a boyfriend. When Ciel came back out, he jumped up immediately and embraced Ciel tightly. "Oh, Ciel. Don't worry about it at all baby, please. I'm really worried about you, passing out and throwing up like that. I think we should go to the hospital. Come on." He said gently, pulling seat from Ciel and starting to tug the younger male towards the front door.

 

"Sebastian please, I'm already tired. I don't need a bunch of cold, pale people pricking and prodding at me. I'll just go to bed early tonight." Ciel smiled reassuringly. "Maybe some soup would be nice though." He added sheepishly.

 

Sebastian furrowed his eyebrows. "Ciel you know what this is, don't you?" He accused. "That's why you don't want to go. You already know what's wrong. What is it? What's wrong? Please tell me." Sebastian begged, clasping Ciel's hands in his desperately. A worried line had appeared in Sebastian's forehead.

 

"I just… I hate seeing you hurt," Ciel began slowly. "I just don't want it to happen again and.. and.." Tears were streaming down ciel's face now and he threw himself into Sebastian's arms. "Don't leave me alone, Sebastian!!" He sobbed. ‘I love you…’ he whispered in his head, body shaking in broken sobs and sniffles.

 

Sebastian was startled for the umpteenth time today as he was suddenly embraced. Suddenly it all made sense to Sebastian when Ciel exclaimed his fear of being left behind. He wrapped his arms around Ciel and lifted him up off the ground completely, half cradling him in his arms. The broken sobs emanating from the male tore at Sebastian's core and he couldn't help but feel as if he was responsible for them. He walked back into the bedroom and half-sat down on the bed so Ciel was awkwardly cradled in his arms. He rocked Ciel gently to try and calm him, murmuring promises in his ear. "Of course I won't leave you alone Ciel, of course not. I'm right here. I'm here for you. I am right with you, I swear."

 

Ciel simply lay in Sebastian’s arms and enjoyed his warmth, letting his lover hold him, listening to his words and letting them ring in his ears. With Sebastian's last phrase in his mind, he drifted off to sleep in his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who left comments on the last chapter. You are the reason this update came out so fast! Comments are encouragement and motivation for our lazy butts to update faster!


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